Why Do Lebanese Politicians Live So Long?

At an average age of 79.33, Lebanon’s President, Prime Minister, and Speaker of Parliament make it seem as though politicians in our country live particularly longer lives than us plebeians. And this geriatric quality is not limited to the three wise men, it seems as though stepping over the parliamentary threshold grows ones life expectancy by decades at a time.

Taking this one step further, let us calculate the average age of Lebanon’s six warlords AKA major political leaders. Their average age comes up to around 75.66, and at 32 years old, I already feel dead.

So does being a Lebanese politician endow these people with some special life force? Do they gain access to some elusive elixir that grants them longevity?

Despite being subject to the same genetic rules as the rest of us, it would appear that a healthy diet of unearned banking dividends and yachts on the coast of the French Riviera do the body good. Another theory is that hundreds of thousands of brainwashed people screaming, Allah ytawwil b 3omrak at you for over two decades has also helped.

If you clicked on this post for answers, we unfortunately have none.