Schedules are updated every Thursday.

Sarah Tarhini 22 Jun 2022

Lebanese Boyfriends: Horoscopes Edition

Have you ever looked at your significant other w fakarto “shu enno libra”? Or even worse, a CAPRICORN? We present to you this crossover of zodiac signs and Lebanese boyfriends.

Disclaimer: Toxicity may apply to anyone regardless of their sign

Aries (March 21–April 19)

– Last time 3assab, he broke his phone
– His perfume wasel la ekher el sher3
– “Emshe nrou7 skydiving mnghayer jaw”

Taurus (April 20–May 20)

– “Sorry nseet redd aalyke kent neym”
– Oum Kalthoum lover
– Ktir bshil Netflix and chill
– “Eh habibi khede waatk ana ha ontor bl seyara”

Gemini (May 21–June 21)

– Long night conversations guaranteed
– Easily adapting to this economy
– Aando memes account
– 14K followers on Twitter

Cancer (June 22–July 22)

– Already msami wledkon
– Buys you your comfort shawarma
– Matching “My King” and “My Queen” t-shirts
– VERY long text messages

Leo (July 23–August 22)

– Public figure on Instagram
– Shows you off on WhatsApp stories but only posts photos he looks good in
– Your own self-employed photographer
– Would NEVER use a 2-in-1 shampoo

Virgo (August 23–September 22)

– Bought you the latest iPhone on your birthday
– Literal Jagal el USEK
– Can’t go a day without his Starbucks
– You’re the ultimate gym couple

Libra (September 23–October 23)

– Romeo el Arab
– Obsessed with his hair
– Wholesome romantic Whatsapp sticker packs
– “LHZA KIF YAANEH ANNA SAID THAT WALW?” and proceeds to listen to all your tea

Scorpio (October 24–November 21)

– Sarlkon sawa 4 sneen and you still feel like you don’t know him
– Matching tattoos
– Loves visiting abandoned places in Beirut
– “Leh hek el vibes zbele?”

Sagittarius (November 22–December 21)

– A total foodie
– Favorite dates are hikes
– Hafez el balad shere3 shere3
– Late night drives with Adonis on

Capricorn (December 22–January 19)

– “Only black coffee” superiority complex
– Favorite food is mjadra
– Foreshadowed the economic crisis years ago
– Already talab eidik aka “Bheb fout men el beb mesh el shebbek” type of guy

Aquarius (January 20–February 18)

– Awwal wahd nezel 3al thawra
– Your dad DOES NOT like his piercings
– Total Mashrou’ Leila fan
– “Illegal does not mean morally incorrect”

Pisces (February 19–March 20)

– “We live in a simulation” kel ma el politics are brought up
– You matched 95% aa Anghami w hlaa ento soulmates
– Hatet el anniversary date in the bio
– One word: CRYSTALS