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Bachar Bzeih 21 Jul 2022

8 Ways Lebanese People Reverse Colonized France

The French mandate over Lebanon may have had ripple effects that we still feel to this day, but we still managed to beat them at their own game. Here are 8 ways we’ve managed to reverse-colonize France!

1. Bonjouren

The French language? Completed it.

2. Croissant Shawarma

A combination that both inspires and terrifies.

3. The sheer number of Lebanese people in France

Imagine all the bad things you know about Lebanese people in Lebanon. Now combine it with all the bad things you know about French people.

4. This Tweet

5. Lebanese students acing Bac Francais

Lebanese students do so well in French official exams that France has decided to investigate the matter.

6. Stealing the French President

7. Begging aforementioned stolen President to recolonize us

Admittedly not our finest moment.

8. Malek el Tawouk and Bachir taking over Paris

Spreading civilization to the backward corners of the world who have lived far too long without toum-y tawouk and ashta ice cream.