10 Things You’ll Understand If You Live Bel Jabal

Do you live bel jabal? We’re pretty sure you’ll relate to these 10 things.

1. Making plans with your Beiruti friends is a major pain in the ass

There’s always that one person in the group who lives far away while the rest are practically neighbors…and that person is you. Always dropping people off and never being dropped off 🙁

2. When your Jabali accent slips out, all hell breaks loose

While you may have successfully neutralized your accent to appeal to city ears, sometimes it gets the best of you. Your non-jabali friends will not let you hear the end of it. “LAHZA SHU ELET?”

3. You’ve probably been asked whether or not you’ve tried Maté

“OMG wala marra jarrabta! Taybe?”

And if you are one of the avid Maté drinkers, you’re now forced to invite them over to try it like it’s some form of alien juice.

4. Your parents shit on city life every other day like their life depends on it

“Hon hawa ndeef, 3am tetkheyalo l raweyeh b Beirut?”

“L may deghre bteje mnel nabe3 wala ahla men hek”

“Shi marra sheyfeen banadoura balade rfe2kon men Beirut?”

5. Delivery? Ensa

Chances are your favorite spots don’t deliver to you. Your options are limited to the day3a’s local foron and snacks.

6. Kiss finding a taxi goodbye, too

Have any of you actually ever seen an Uber bel jabal? Bolt? Hello? ANYONE?

7. Your parents are constantly on the lookout for people men l jabal

And somehow, they manage to find them with their built-in village radar.

8. Your house is filled with all things balade

Bayd balade, banadoura balade, khyar balade – you name it. And don’t bother bringing anything into the house that’s not balade because your parents WILL notice and will never forgive you.

9. You often dream about living in Beirut, or at least somewhere close to it

You’ll feel closer to civilization (and maybe know what it is like when not every person on the street knows everything about you).

10. And you had a lifelong goal of successfully drinking from this thing without suffocating when you were a kid

This required extensive training to master.