11 Things You’ll Hear on Lebanese Radio

My car does not have an AUX and I’ve spent my fair share of time traversing Beirut in a service, so I have had a taste of the entire tapestry of Lebanese radio. Here are 11 things you’ll surely hear whenever you turn on the radio.

1. Canned morning shows

Who doesn’t love to wake up to some cold canned banter between two people who most probably hate each other?

2. The same 20 tracks

There are only ever 20 pieces of music ever available at any given moment, and you will hear them until your ears bleed.

3. Olivia Rodrigo’s Driver’s License

This song starts with a car beeping, and I jumpscare every time. Songs played on the radio should not have car noises. Vote for me for president to ensure this law gets passed.

4. The worst news you’ve ever heard

While the service driver just shrugs his shoulders and lights up a cigarette.

5. Traffic updates in traffic

Thank you for telling me that there’s traffic around me Anthony, how could I have figured that out if you weren’t here?

6. The worst ads you’ve ever heard

THERE IS A PARTY TONIGHT AND IT IS UNLIKE ANY PARTY THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED BEFORE. SEE YOU AT TRAIN STATION MAR MKHAIL.

7. Ad-free music hour

If it’s ad free why do you need to interrupt every few minutes to remind me its ad free?

8. Unhinged callers

Give people a platform and they will really tell you the most insane thing you’ve ever heard. If you’re looking for some A+ gossip about the local neighbourhood la7am, tune in.

9. Talk shows you know are on TV

It feels weird hearing them on the radio, like you’re intruding on an intimate conversation or like you’re a second-class citizen having to sneak a peek at what the elites are talking about.

10. Lo-Fi Fayrouz

They love to play this track, and I have to unfortunately say, it is a bop.

11. Every station is the number 1 station

If we’re all number 1, who’s number 1? We can’t all seriously be the top-rated best show in town to ever exist. Someone get to the bottom of this.

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