16 Times You Wished You Could Disappear In Lebanon

Ever felt like exiting stage-left when these situations arise? You’re not alone. Here are a few scenarios that happen in Lebanon that will make you wish you could disappear into thin air. 1. When the hairdresser’s crotch is pressed right against you. 2. When the dikkeneh guy asks you, “leh za3lene” just because you’re not beaming with joy at the sight of his face. 3. When you meet friends of friends and spend time making fun of a celebrity/politician and someone hits you with a, “houweh 3ammeh”. 4. When your mom starts telling her friends what you do for a living while you stand there awkwardly smiling. And she gets it all wrong. “Benti bteshteghil bil online.” 5. When you think someone is staring at you flirtatiously and you get offended and ask, “bek shi?” Only to realize they were looking at their friend behind you the whole time. 6. When your dentist asks you, fi 7ada special? We’re all special in our own way, dentist of mine. Now fix my night guard so I can deal with all the rage. 7. When you’re at Spinney’s and a senior citizen stands too close to you and coughs. And you feel bad for having a knee-jerk reaction. 8. When your shitty ex shows up anywhere, anytime. 9. When your regular ex still exists. 10. When your neighbor gets in the elevator with you and your dog and asks how long they’ll live. IDK, Joe. How long do you have left? 11. When you meet someone and make fun of cousins getting married and they say their parents are cousins. (True story.) 12. All those times you called the teacher mama. 13. When you’re in line at the bank and you’re like, “please may I have my money?” and they’re like lol no. 14. When the HR manager at work thinks they can ask when you’re planning on getting married. And you have to smile and make a joke because you rather enjoy your paycheck than explain your issues. 15. When you’re at a family lunch and someone asks about your love life. 16. When the car you cut off in traffic follows you home because they’re visiting your neighbor.