A Christmas Carol: Ebenezer Scrooge “3al Lebnene”

If you think about it, Ebenezer Scrooge from A Christmas Carol sounds a lot like an angry old Beiruti. In fact, the entire story could very much be based on a true Lebanese story. Let’s go over it together.

‘Twas the night before Christmas…

Ebenezer Scro-…we mean, Eyad Salame was mourning the death of his lifelong business partner, Jean Mahfouz. His partner died of a heart attack after major losses to their money laundering scheme…shocker.

Eyad is now mfallas and doesn’t want to even spend money on heating for his fancy Saifi apartment, which is also now being foreclosed by the bank. Sometimes, he gets flashbacks of his business partner saying: “Shu ya Eyad? 3al ases el lira b alf kheir?”

His ex-girlfriend, wannabe actress and apparently, insurance studies graduate, Steffie posted a 5-minute-long video to social media where she claimed that she had NOTHING to do with Eyad and all the hard-earned money she made was from her impeccable acting skills.

Heartbreaking for Eyad, who thought he was living his Bonnie and Clyde fantasy.

Eyad is then haunted by the ghost of Christmas past, present, and yet to come to get rid of his greedy ways.

The ghost of Christmas past takes him back to his childhood, where he grew up in the shadows of his hotel-owner father. Eyad was the basic nepo-baby, just like every other successful businessperson in Lebanon. He also revisits his engagement to his wife, but we don’t learn much about her honestly. She just…exists.

The ghost of Christmas present takes Eyad to meet his betrayer Steffie as she prepares to film another “BREAKING MY SILENCE” video for her Instagram. Internet trolls have been relentless, but did she care? Not really. More publicity = more fame = more self-victimizing herself…she’s learned a lot from Eyad, it almost makes him shed a tear.

The ghost of Christmas yet to come…never shows up. He was on his lunch break. Although he was supposed to show him his tragic death so that he begs to be given another chance at becoming a better person, Eyad finds himself rewatching Catch Me If You Can starring Leonardo DiCaprio for a fourth time. “What a great movie”, he thinks to himself.

But instead of changing his ways, he manages to trick the three ghosts into a new Ponzi scheme.

You can’t teach an old dog new tricks, we suppose.