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William Daou 11 Jan 2023

10 Times Your Laptop Was Just Like The Lebanese Government

It’s Wednesday, it’s a great morning. The air is cool but there’s a warmth around you. You’re a bit sleepy but nothing that a fresh cup of coffee won’t fix. It is time to start working. You open your laptop and BOOM…you get hit with that update screen. Day automatically ruined.

Here are 10 times our laptops have filled us with hopelessness and despair that we thought only the Lebanese government could make us feel.

If you have a functioning laptop, look away, nobody likes you.

1. When it just does not take no for an answer

I do not want to lose all my money in an elaborate financial engineering scheme. I do not want to update my laptop right now. Same same.

2. When the clicks take as long as one Nabih Berri reign

And your expectations are lowered to match it too. Please just one click, that’s all I ask for.

3. When you need to take to an external repair shop

Emmanuel Macron, IMF, Abou Aziz Lel Toslee7…

4. When you open your parents’ malware-infested laptop

This is filled with trash, stupidity, and danger, just like a Lebanese cabinet.

5. When it just freezes

This is the laptop-manifestation of how a Lebanese caretaker government behaves, and if you want to fix it guess what? You need to restart the entire process and wait a few months.

6. When it doesn’t communicate

Tell me something or I’m giving up on you.

7. When you edit in photoshop and set a picture to 0 transparency

8. When your RAM usage is at 51% but you have nothing open

9. When it weighs five kilos and makes you lug it around everywhere

Pulling dead weight just like the generational baggage holding this country eternally down.

10. When it has no ports