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William Daou 17 Jan 2023

7 Winter Date Plans In Beirut For People Who Hate Everything

Winter, what a magnificent time. The season of cold, rain, snow, and cozy times. It is also the season of using rain to get out of plans. We see it, we respect it. So for all the haters out there, we’ve come up with 7 great winter date plans that will manage to penetrate haters’ cold and frozen souls.

1. Alcohol

How do you free yourself from the misery of life? What is one sure way to get your winter hater out of their den? Exploit society’s crippling dependency on alcohol! After a few drinks you guys will either bond over your mutual hatred of that one normal couple at table 6 or break down your shells as you admire and weep over the raw beauty of everyday mundanity. Plus alcohol literally warms you up, so, no excuses.

2. Lamma yos7a el ta2es…

Here’s one tip self-help books will never share with you: you need to start fooling yourself.

Let me paint a scenario for you, you’ve gone on a few dates, you think you’re starting to like this person, but you’re afraid of falling into the same old patterns. So your brain is like, let me plan an elaborate day that will really take this relationship to a whole new level. Then the second part of your brain comes in and says, what if they hate you and are planning to dump you right now + it’s cold now so just hedge your bets. You’re confused. What do I do now?

Listen up bozo. You fire off your plan to your partner and add a “lamma yos7a el ta2es lol” at the end. You just shifted everything onto them, you’re nonchalant and so so normal. Then lamma yos7a ta2es if they actually remind you about it, they’re the one.

Here are some ideas:

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3. Board Games

Board games, the true hater activity. Now this can either be a date or double date, we’ll leave that up to you. Make sure to hide your insanely competitive and angry side.

4. Books

Books on a winter and hater list, how surprising. Listen closely, we’ve given up on pretentious pretenses of winterly reading by the chimney, and that definitely does not make for a good date. Here’s what you’re gonna do instead, you’re gonna exercise your god given capitalist rights and endlessly shop for books. Online, in person, used, new, fiction, non-fiction, everything is on the table. Just fire up those engines, sit next to each other and let the dopamine of instant gratification and (dignified, not like those silly mall goes) retail therapy soak through your brains. They used to say take the person you love to a horror movie so that you would bond over the release of endorphins or whatever, but this is the true 21th century analog of that. Collect all the commodities and feel superior in the process.

5. Barzakh

If you want to maximize the potential of the previous idea, do it at Barzakh. The warmest cafe in Beirut is home to books and amazing sweets, the perfect mixture for a successful date night. Plus the place is so closed off you can hear and judge everyone else’s conversations, truly the apex of hater activities.

6. Art

Film festivals, plays, and films are always around in the cultural hub of the Middle East (barf). A winterproof activity that will allow you to bond over your date about the depth of that Moroccan short film that managed to completely change your life in just 25 minutes.

7. La Menagerie

Unfortunately, this spot is so cool we have to unironically include it in this list. So much flowers, a true taste of spring in the middle of winter that will surely warm up the heart of any winter hater.