Listomania
Bachar Bzeih

12 Things Lebanese Kids Will Be Nostalgic About In 30 Years

Welcome to Lebanon 2053! You are so old now, wow, hand the tele-holographic-brain device to the kids, because you’ll never know how to use it. Listen up you yippie hipsters, I know you’re looking at Beirut.com’s intergalactic archives and have fallen in love with the disaster-chic 20s Beirut aesthetic, and you think you’re so original and cool. Well think again bucko! Because here’s an article from 2023 that has already figured out your entire 2053 personality.

1. I collect old Lebanese Lira bills

You know, they had 100,000 bills back in the day!

2. This is a vintage May 2020 COVID mask

No, I’m not going to tell you where I bought it from.

3. You know you didn’t have to pay for air back then?

4. My outfit is based on Maya Reaidy’s classic 20s looks

Did you know she was the longest reigning Miss Lebanon in history?

5. I wish we had more politicians like Nabih Berri these days

Ken 7arame w fessed w m*jrem bas ken 3ando hek rou7 wataniye w hek presidential vibe.

6. These Mashrou’ Leila guys were so ahead of their time

Why did no one appreciate them back in the day? Those zoomers really had no taste.

7. There used to be 6 TV channels!

They would just let Wiam Wahab go on there and speak for 3 hours every day, imagine how cool that must’ve been.

8. I’m going on a mission to find the last bird

…They didn’t know about their role in the conspiracy…Then one day…It was so bloody.

9. I only watch things on my classic blue screen

Screens from the 20s really capture a radioactive glow that was lost with time…

10. I’m applying to a special transportation license to run a car

Back in the day every family had like 6 cars, and they would just go around killing themselves with those 50 ton death machines. I need one, it’s so camp.

11. I just bought the archive of WhatsApps From Riad to Stephanie, it’s so spicy

I can’t believe they were doing that back in the day, it’s so risque and sexy, a story that really captures the Lebanese essence, they could never get away with it today 🙁

12. Their used to be a rock here in the old sea, some remnants can be seen if you dive deep enough