We’re Going To Spoil Every Ramadan Show For You

Ramdan Kareem, everyone! Today is the first day of fasting from not only food, but also good television. For the next 30 or so days, we’re going to receive daily drops of some bad-to-surprisingly medicore television. Here are some issues we need to see ironed out.

First, why is it almost never Ramadan in any Ramadan series? Instead of the 15th drama that’s just a drama because Nadine Nassib Njeim does a sad contemplative face every episode, how about we have characters actually do something entertaining? Like maybe hunt down their drug lord rival in the Bekaa sun while fasting.

Second, let’s re-evaluate these relationship tropes. This is for the majority of Arab shows, not just the Ramadan ones. Relationships tend to range from pretty problematic (girl you have Stockholm syndrome) to ultimately cheese (girl he has to be a serial killer he can’t be this perfect). Now, that isn’t a problem unto itself, the issue is just every show follows the same relationship beats, whether it’s uptown girl meets downtown boy or downtown girl meets uptown boy, or the good ole enemies to lovers. And then the showrunners pull the trigger way too early and we have to deal with a week of filler plots because it’s only the 14th day of Ramadan.

Now actually, to be fair to Ramadan shows, Tango actually did this pretty well whichever Ramadan it aired in. Its messy affairs, coupled with some classic murder mystery, was quite a breath of fresh air in the Ramadan tapestry. But we have an issue with shows like Tango. Of course, everyone agrees that we hate Lebanese-Australians. Wait, no that’s not the reason.

The third biggest issue is the number of adaptations and sequels we have to deal with every month. Thankfully, I don’t think we have Al Haybe Part 85 this month, but we’ll probably have a few shows adapted from foreign television. Now, I have one question, why? I know this is probably related to the political economy of television production, but do all these Arab producers know that they can just change a few words and then the TV show will be their own original idea? Why are you paying this much for adaptations when you can just plagiarize? Adaptations often end up with every character being a sectarianly-ambiguous Firas, and with plot points that barely fit the Arab experience. Sort it out.

After a long day of fasting, Ramadan viewers should be able to wind back with some high quality television, but instead we’ll have to make do with semi-soap operas that mostly serve to make did-you-see-that?! conversation between friends and family.

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