Listomania
Mia Arawi

12 Articles We’d Post After The Apocalypse

I have my grip on the pulse of the masses, and I’m sure what’s going through everyone’s head right now is “What will Beirut.com actually post after the apocalypse?” Very normal thought to have. To stem everyone’s worries, I’ve brainstormed 14 fantastic articles our post-apocalyptic team can look to explore, no need to say thank you. 1. 12 Times Your Lebanese AI Overlord Was Right Then, now, forever. 2. Nabih Berri Re-Elected As Speaker Of Parliament We’ve lost count… 3. Braintastic! 12 Amazing Human-Burger Joints In Beirut You need to appeal to all market segments. 4. Mutant Exchange Rate Set At 14,000 Human Bones Per Mollar 5. 7 Spots For A Radiation-Free Staycation In Lebanon Including 4 secret bunkers at [redacted]. 6. Lebanese Zombies As Dead Lebanese Politicians 7. Lebanese Prisoners Win Top Medal At Alien Detention Camp We’re all very proud! 8. 9 Ways Your Lebanese Mom Wants To Cure This Plague 7-up. 9. 14 Things We Would’ve Posted Before The Apocalypse Woah, meta. 10. AUB President Fadlo Khuri Announces Tuition Increase For Human-Mutant Students 11. 13 Great Ways To Meet New People (That Are Not A Zombie Trap!) 12. Lebanese Zombie Horde Meets To Elect A New President, Again Analysts believe that the zombie horde is waiting to see the results of the Great American Zombie Battle Royale before they make their decision. Welcome to Post Apocalyptic Lebanon! 1