15 Things That Happen After You Get Dumped In Lebanon

Dive into the hilariously chaotic post-breakup scene in the heart of Beirut with our list of 15 things that happen when you get dumped in Lebanon.

1. You start seeing them EVERYWHERE

Need a reminder on how small Beirut is? They’ll be all over your local Spinney’s, at the same restaurants, and even walking around ABC ALL THE TIME.

2. You pull the mystery card and try to convince them that you’re dead

Of course you do that by disappearing off of WhatsApp and social media for 3 days straight.

3. …and then comes the oversharing

*Uploads story of morning coffee at Younes*
*Uploads story of lunch break*

*Uploads story of drive home*

*Uploads story with mystery person in the back*

*Uploads story with quote about self worth*

4. Everyone starts magically asking about them.

Your friends and family never cared about your SO, but now that they’re gone it’s all how’s Jad? Where’s Jad? Why isn’t Jad with you?

5. Everyone starts looking exactly like them

We like to think of Lebanese people as varied in looks, but break up with someone and you’ll realize just how much WE ALL LOOK THE SAME. Oh and their car? Popping up everywhere, too.

6. Your best friend gets engaged.

Nothing cements the pain of your break-up more than your besties getting engaged/married/giving birth.

7. You realize that everyone is way too busy for you.

“Drinks? Coffee? Lunch? Dinner? Hanging out in silence? Going to your doctor’s appointment with you?” You’re literally down for anything.

8. Your tastebuds undergo a transformation

How can you still enjoy a sujouk shawarma when it literally tastes like pain and emptiness? (You will get over this.)

9. You hook up with someone in public

Thinking it will trigger your ex, but it only traumatizes you.

10. Your cringe tendencies make an appearance.

Since when do I post stories about heart healing?

11. You fall into the trap of dating app deja-vu

Swiping through dating apps feels like a weird déjà vu, with all your weird pre-relationship matches making a disgusting comeback.

12. You realize how much of their shit is in your house.

Your laptop was a Christmas gift, most of your clothes were purchased together…why did they gift you an ashtray?!

13. You try, and fail, to pick up new hobbies

Who do you think you are trying hot yoga?

14. Your family magically becomes a fan of the relationship

After fighting you for years, they mysteriously start backing it.

15. And finally…

You get back together.

If you do manage to get back together, check out our dates & romance section for ideas on fun things to do!