Lebanese Parents, Stop Buying Colleen Hoover for Your Kids
Fellow bookworms, I’m sure you’re as frustrated as I am watching impressionable young girls flock to the shelves filled with Colleen Hoover books—or even overhearing kids pleading with their clueless parents to pick up Verity,Heart Bones, or any of her other titles over the phone.
Don’t get me wrong, the enthusiasm for reading is great and all…I just wish it was over books that were actually good. If you’re a Lebanese parent reading this, take a seat.
Her books suck, and I’m not the only one who thinks so
Someone called CoHo the ‘armpit of literature‘, and I wholeheartedly agree. Bringing her up in conversations, catching a glimpse of her book covers at bookstores, and even typing out her name as I write this blog – all of these things make me physically ill.
As an English literature graduate, I want to clarify that I’m not suggesting your kids dive into Shakespeare or critically analyze the Odyssey. In fact, I’m not a fan of Shakespeare myself and find the Odyssey to be an absolute snooze-fest unless you’re studying English literature. Many English students share this sentiment.
The Colleen Hoover plague…it ends with us
This is a message to Lebanese parents to end this CoHo plague: Stop buying her books for your kids. We know you’re excited to see them pick up something other than their cellphone for once, but trust me, you do NOT want them reading these books.
I’m going to give an extremely simple summary as to what most, if not all, CoHo plots contain. Or let me phrase this differently, you are giving your kids your hard-earned money to buy books that contain:
Emotionally and physically abusive men: In It Ends With Us, Lily’s abusive partner pushes her down a flight of stairs because he just…loves her so much. This is only one of many, MANY abusive scenes. I don’t think you want your impressionable kids believing that this is okay, normal, or even romantic.
Graphic sex: If you see your child reading Verity…I’m so sorry. These detailed scenes are actually central to the plot. You might as well buy them Fifty Shades of Grey, but even the Fifty Shades series has better writing than CoHo.
Dumb, cliché plots: The dumbest by far has to be Heart Bones. You can click here to spoil it for yourself, not because I want to spare you the spoilers but because I want to save myself the trouble of writing down the ridiculous plot summary.
Final thoughts
As if it isn’t already hard enough for women and girls who are into the romance genre. This genre has been dismissed as ‘not a real genre’, and that’s probably because its readership is predominantly women. As the highest-grossing genre, it comes as no surprise that CoHo decided to capitalize on it.
You should have just published it on Wattpad.
Anyway, I made a promise to myself that every time I see a parent buying CoHo for their kid, I’m going to speak up and tell them EXACTLY what they’re investing in. I’m over the whole ‘ana ma khasne bel nes’ thing.
Also, if you’re above the age of 15 and you actually enjoy her books, I’m totally judging you.
If you want more age-appropriate things for your kids to do in their spare time instead of read Colleen Hoover, we have a #JustForKids section on our website.
