Listomania

How Every Zodiac Sign Survives the Holiday Season in Lebanon

Our favorite animal is Lebanese people during the holiday season, but we think every zodiac sign is tackling the festivities differently. Here’s how we think every zodiac sign is surviving (or thriving) this holiday season in Lebanon.

♈ Aries (March 21 – April 19)

Already booked every party from December 15 to January 7. They’ve been trying to get a Bar Baker reservation since last month and still think they can manage to book a table for the holidays. Running on caffeine, adrenaline, and “yalla it’ll work out.”

♉ Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Here for the food and only the food. They follow Souk El Akel everywhere they go, so you’ll find them trying holiday eats and desserts for the entire holiday season. They’ve also done more shopping than they should have…

♊ Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Said yes to three plans at the same time. One is in Beirut, the other is in Dbayeh, and the last one is in Jounieh. They will show up late, leave early, and post about all of them.

♋ Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Cancer placements are the emotional backbone of the holiday season. They’re big on family traditions during the holidays, and they’ll be taking pictures of everyone while having Yara’s “Heik El Eid 3enna” playing on repeat.

♌ Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Holiday season = main character season. Outfits planned, photos secured, and low-key offended if no one compliments them. They also probably booked a cheese and wine night or a delicious steak frites holiday dinner at Le Petit Gris…for the food and the Instagram pictures.

♍ Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

Knows traffic timings, parking spots, and which markets are “worth it” because one thing a Virgo will not be doing this holiday season is waste their time on trivial things.

♎ Libra (September 23 – October 23)

Libras are busy hosting the best holiday lunches this season (sorry, not sorry). They also say yes to every holiday outing, especially if it’s a Christmas pop-up event. They probably knew about all of them before you even sent them to the group chat.

♏ Scorpio (October 24 – November 21)

Scorpios disappear during the holiday season, but you’ll randomly find them at places like Fizz in Mar Mikhael or Good Thing in Gemmayze because they love lowkey spots and small circles.

♐ Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

They’re probably booking a holiday retreat in Ehden or dreaming of one. One thing’s for sure, they’re probably seizing the opportunity to drink lots of wine.

♑ Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

The workaholics do enjoy the holiday season, but they have a strict schedule. Monday night at Sarah’s. Tuesday morning brunch with Ahmad who is visiting from abroad. Wednesday night with the family until 9 PM and then a Christmas dinner with close friends at 10.

♒ Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

Avoiding traditional plans on purpose. At some niche event, pop-up, or random gathering no one else knew about. You’ll probably find them at Beirut’s cultural spaces where they’re mixing and mingling with new people.

♓ Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

Pisces are romanticizing everything, obsessing over the perfect gifts for their friends, or gift-wrapping their sentimental (or even handmade) presents for the holidays. You won’t find them at overcrowded spots, so they’ll be at lowkey Christmas pop-ups with a friend or two.

Did we get these right? Let us know!