12 Words That Mean Something Totally Different When You’re Lebanese
Some words just take on a different meaning…
1. Neighbor
What it actually means: The stranger next door or a person living on the same street as you.
Lebanese translation: A particularly aggravating creature who assumes the right to orchestrate your morning routine, share your house and intimate belongings, and instruct you on how to raise your kids every time you see them.
2. Basketball
What it actually means: A sport where two teams of five players each dribble a ball down a court in an attempt to get it through a hoop.
Lebanese translation: A game between various groups of over-excitable people who jump at the chance to turn said game into a huge political manifestation of sectarian tendencies which threaten to jeopardize overall civility and peace.
3. Shy
What it actually means: Feeling uncomfortable or nervous in the presence of other people.
Lebanese translation: A multifaceted social complex you are accused of whenever you fail to maintain meaningful two-hour conversations with strangers, refuse to stay for dinner after having lunch at a neighbor’s house, or are unable to build instant friendships with relatives you never knew existed.
4. YouTube
What it actually means: A video-sharing website where you can watch videos and post your own.
Lebanese translation: A life of buffering and suffering where watching a video in high quality is as impossible as uploading a two-minute video in less than two hours.
5. Wedding
What it actually means: A ceremony celebrating the marriage of two people.
Lebanese translation: A social occasion for young women in 12-inch heels to showcase their hair and makeup, and old women in 12-inch chignons to showcase their unmarried daughters.
6. Depression
What it actually means: A mood disorder characterized by feelings of sadness and despair.
Lebanese translation: A permanent condition causing emotional outbursts and drama queening over broken nails, occasionally disrupted by the sound of an explosion.
7. Summer
What it actually means: The warmest and most anticipated season of the year.
Lebanese translation: Watermelon. So much watermelon.
8. Driving
What it actually means: The act of operating a motor vehicle on the road.
Lebanese translation: A time to unleash your F1 spirit, thoroughly demonstrate your advanced cursing skills and shout your lungs out at perfect strangers.
9. Face
What it actually means: The front part of your head.
Lebanese translation: Noses get smaller, lips get bigger, life goes on.
10. A bit
What it actually means: A small amount.
Lebanese translation: Falls somewhere between an overloaded dinner plate and two years of a presidential vacuum, depending on the context.
11. Family Gathering
What it actually means: A small get-together of close family members.
Lebanese translation: You against an infinite constellation of second and third relatives who just want to talk about how genius their kids are.
12. Bus
What it actually means: A large public transportation vehicle.
Lebanese translation: Somewhere you never want to be.
