Your Guide To Getting An Unofficial Lebanese Passport

Learn the following things and you will receive an honorary Lebanese citizen badge.

1. Invite over a random person for lunch

“tfadalo!” you say to strangers you just met in the elevator who might or might not be potential serial killers.

2. Have a screaming contest while you’re stuck in traffic

It’s 100% your fault, because you’re cutting in and switching lanes in front of other cars, but you will start a fight nonetheless.

3. Learn at least 3 of these Lebanese slang words.

4. Complain about almost everything, but shit on anyone who talks badly about Lebanon.

5. Know the difference between Ain Mraisse, Manara, Rawshe, and Ramlet el Bayda.

Even some Lebanese people don’t know the difference.

6. Master the etiquette of greeting in terms of the number of kisses.

Is it 2 or 3 kisses? Is it just a hug?

7. Overdress for any and all occasions.

Lebanese people are chic and will seize any opportunity to flaunt it. Going to your neighborhood dikkene? Heels and a sparkly jacket will suffice.

8. Excuses. All the time.

Check out this post to be able to truly catch the essence of bailing out on someone and getting away with it.

9. Saying “ya3tik el 3afye watan” every time you pass a hajez.

The essence of Lebanese culture.

10. Become an ‘influencer/blogger’.

You’re not really influencing anything or anyone, but according to real statistics, it’s the number one profession in the country, and some might even say Lebanese people pioneered it.

11. Summon waiters to your table by apologizing loudly.

Instead of saying “excuse me, can I have a bottle of water?” You must say, “SORRiiiEEEEE, water please!” You don’t know why you’re apologizing but it’s the only way to get them to notice you.

12. Cross the street without fear.

Nothing says ATTENTION I AM A TOURIST like crossing the street hesitantly. To be truly Lebanese, you must cross without fear. Close your eyes when you do it for an extra, “I really am Lebanese” touch.

Congratulations you’ve just received your unofficial Lebanese passport!