If Your Favorite Netflix Shows Were Based In Lebanon

Okay, we may have horrible internet and maybe you’ve never watched these shows on Netflix, but you’ve ordered them from Nabilnet. Same same, but different. Here are the ways we imagine that our favorite Netflix shows could be re-interpreted to apply to Lebanon.

Orange is the New Black

Orange is the New Black a la libanais would be set in the women’s section of Roumieh Prison. The story line will be similar to the original show, with the only added touch being that the women will all be awaiting trial for the mundane crime they’ve committed for over a decade.

House of Cards

For very, very obvious reasons, this political thriller could easily be re-interpreted for Lebanese society, renamed as House of Wasta. Kevin Spacey (the president) would be played by Yorgo Shalhoub. He would have a beautiful wife, Ward El Khal, and they’d be masterminds of social manipulation and governmental control. The show would center around their domination of the 18 different Lebanese sects, and the ways in which corruption and secrecy help the couple remain in power.

Stranger Things

Old school sci-fi, horror, and ’80s nostalgia can so easily mesh with Lebanese society. A bunch of Lebanese adolescents get sucked into the Lebanese version of the Upside Down, a sewage system in Costa Brava.

Black Mirror

An anthology that delves into the terrors of life with technology, Black Mirror Lebanon would follow the story of a Lebanese Social Media Influencer, @MiraOfficial. It would tell the offensive tale of a girl who thinks every second of her life is satisfying, relevant, and important enough to showcase to the rest of the country and the world – all in the hopes of somehow attaining social validation. The show would follow Mira around ‘Blair Witch’ style, throughout her day-to-day activities, including a lot of coffee, selfies, hashtags, Chanel, and being #blessed.

Narcos

This one doesn’t require too much imagination. Narcos Lebanon would feature Lebanon’s most notorious druglord and his shielded, luxurious, gun-wielding life in the Bekaa Valley. It would follow this man through his dealings with his protectors, the cops, his community, amid his Escobar-esque lifestyle. The setting will alternate between his home in the Bekaa and the officers at Makhfar Hbeish trying to brainstorm ways in which to finally catch the Don. The theme song would be a Lebanese jingle that will get stuck in your head after watching every episode, and it will eventually start playing at Beirut’s hottest nightclubs.