8 Things That Happen At Every Lebanese Family Lunch

Are family lunches as essential, as food and water, to your Lebanese family as they are to mine?

1. Fighting over where to have lunch

Your mom feels like Italian, your sister wants Chinese, your brother is craving tawouk, while all your dad wants is to not break the bank today.

2. The waiting game

Reservations have been made, and you’re all set to go – except everyone lies and says they only need “telet se3a maximum” to be ready, and so the waiting game commences. Your mom is shouting from the other room that she’s ready and she’s done waiting for all of you, while her hair blowdryer is still on. Your sister barges into your room without knocking and says she needs to borrow a shirt. This will go on for at least 40 minutes until all of you are ready.

Note: your dad has been ready since 8 AM and is in the living room watching the news.

3. Karaoke/raging fighting over the AUX on the way to lunch

If your parents are chill, they’ll probably let you and your siblings play whatever you want. If they’re like mine, you are not allowed to have one say in the music and Andrea Bocelli will be played on loop.

4. Gossiping on the table

This will usually happen between the siblings, but the parents will be there listening to the things said – that shouldn’t have been said.

5. Which will prompt your dad to throw in a couple of awkward questions

Your dad: “Shu ya3ne ‘Rana shelito la Adam’?”

6. Can it be a real Lebanese lunch without education and career discussions?

Discussions = low-key shitting on your life choices.

7. Roasting each other so hard

When your brother starts taunting you, you expect your parents to defend you, but they chime in on the banter.

8. Followed by the biggest love fest

Towards the end of the lunch, your dad and mom will say a mini speech of how they miss having you around. They will go on and on about how you’ve all grown up (mind you, you’re 37 and on the verge of having 3 children), and these family lunches should be cherished for all times.

main image via Instagram.com/@muteblogg