11 Types Of People You See At Malls In Lebanon

Please raise your hand if you have ever felt personally victimized by articles like these… *raises hand*

1. The group of trilingual teenagers, each with their own iPhone X.

You know them, right? The mean 13 year old girls that could shatter your self-esteem – which you’ve been working on for 26 years – to pieces, with one sentence. They sport the LV Palm Springs mini backpacks and shout out:”ouai ouai OUAI” in conversations with a couple of other Arabic and English words fused together.

2. The couple speaking French to their kids

The super clean cut wholesome couple saying: “yella mami, viens“. They laugh so effortlessly at their endearing kid as he jumps around crashing and pulling at everything in sight.

3. The dying old man, plus one

Damn lucky plus one though, except when you hear him tell her, “shu ya baby“.

4. The hand-in-hand couple

These honeymooners will be looking at the Moukarzel window, smiling, giggling, and making us all gag.

5. The pissed off salesperson at the over-priced jewelry kiosk

Maybe if you sold donuts, then somebody would’ve approached you.

6. The super busy, super fast woman, sprint-walking around the place

Superwoman, I call her – just next time you’re running around and you jab your weirdly sharp elbow in my ribs, please be more gentle.

7. The people who just chill on the escalators

And eye you like there’s no tomorrow from the start of the descend/ascend until the end.

8. The rich kid

Oh you’ll know them when you see them, their ugly orange bags will blind you.

9. The mother/daughter duo who look exactly alike.

Bleached blonde hair, an eye tattoo on their backs, a fake designer bag, and long acrylic nails. They’ll look the same regardless of the age difference, because smoking and botox cancel each other out.

10. The screaming kid

This kid is having the biggest and most insane of all tantrums and the mother is trying to “gently” pull on him to stop, lest the bystanders think she was abusing him. “Mama please habibi yalla ta nrouh 3al bet” she begs him, but the 3-year-old kid that knows no more than two words has absolute control over her life.

He screams: “BADE ICE CREAM HAAAAL2.”

Her hair frizzed, her shirt stained, she’s sweating, and when her sleepless bag-ridden eyes locked with mine, at that moment I knew I would never ever be having kids.

11. The family of 17

Why do Rami, Randa, Karim, Sarah, Jamil, Thea and their parents all have to come to the mall if it’s only Karim that needs pair of socks?

1