Dear Ivy,<\/p>\n
I just got dumped by the love of my life and am in the single worst emotional pain (next to the death of my grandparents) that I have ever experienced. My friends keep telling me: “You’ll do better, you’re strong,” but I literally haven’t eaten in days. What are some ways to drown out the pain of breaking up with the love of your life?<\/b><\/i><\/p>\n
Alright, I\u2019m gonna just go right ahead and tell you, sadly, that the best breakup remedy is a rebound. But that only works to ease the pain. The only way you\u2019re heart will truly mend is when you realize that you\u2019ll be able to fall in love again. And that doesn\u2019t come easy.<\/p>\n
You\u2019re gonna have to change all those future hopes and aspirations where he\u2019s in the picture, and that takes time. I also feel people tend to idolize their exes, reminiscing over and over again on time spent thinking how perfect everything was and thus blaming themselves for the breakup. Don\u2019t bask in self-pity. Don\u2019t sit there and listen to every breakup song in the world and hope the tears will fall. If he was truly worth all that pain, he would have stuck around and worked things out. He didn\u2019t. Now is the time to think about YOUR self-worth. And when you really give it a thought, you\u2019ll start feeling anger not sadness. And that would be the first real step towards moving on.<\/p>\n
Dear Ivy,<\/p>\n
We have been dating for over a year and a half now, and we are in college. I really don’t want to leave her, but she got drunk at a party and kissed another guy. She apologized a billion times and blamed the booze. What should I do?<\/b><\/i><\/p>\n
You\u2019re in college! You said it yourself. College is one big drunken fest. Of course the booze was to blame. Alcohol – and a lot of it – make people do silly things that they end up regretting. She\u2019s apologized which means she\u2019s sorry. She could have easily dumped you for another guy and you would have been dealing with a painful breakup.<\/p>\n
Forgive her, just this one time, since she\u2019s really sorry. Of course, this can’t set a precedent. This is her final shot. If she acts up again, end it. Your girl just wants to live out her college years and that\u2019s understandable. It\u2019s not you – it\u2019s her.<\/p>\n
One more thing: if you move past this, don\u2019t bring it up again. That means no dwelling and no bitter random reminders. Or else you\u2019ll end up breaking up six months down the line. Recognize that she made a mistake and move forward. It\u2019s the only way. Cheers!<\/p>\n