{"id":25066,"date":"2013-05-29T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2013-05-29T00:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.beirut.com\/25066\/dear-ivy-how-do-i-get-my-best-friend-to-lay-off-my-man"},"modified":"2013-05-29T00:00:00","modified_gmt":"2013-05-29T00:00:00","slug":"dear-ivy-how-do-i-get-my-best-friend-to-lay-off-my-man","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beirut.com\/en\/25066\/dear-ivy-how-do-i-get-my-best-friend-to-lay-off-my-man\/","title":{"rendered":"Dear Ivy: How Do I Get My Best Friend to Lay Off My Man?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Dear Ivy,
I’m almost positive that one of my guy friends is gay, though he has never told me directly. I want to let him know that I support him 100% (whether he’s gay or not) without pressuring him to actually come out to me. I’ve known him for almost a year now and we’re really good friends. Am I supposed to say anything?<\/b><\/i><\/p>\n

That\u2019s a tough one, but here\u2019s how I see things. I\u2019m sure your friend knows he\u2019s got your support whether or not he chooses to spell it out for you; he\u2019s picked up on it the same way your gaydar has sensed his sexual orientation.<\/p>\n

And yes, it would be better for two friends to be open and earnest with each other but that\u2019s his move to make not yours, so why rush it? Does it even really matter? As long as you\u2019re not beating around the bush with topics and he\u2019s not putting on a class-act when it comes to his dating life, then I don\u2019t see how you guys can\u2019t just continue doing what it is your doing without any major confessions.<\/p>\n

Choosing to live openly-gay is a challenge anywhere in the world, but in a stone-age judgmental society like Lebanon where authorities resort to illogical and inhuman extremes to deal with homosexuality, imagine how much more dangerous and intimidating it could be to come out no matter how much you trust someone.<\/p>\n

Dear Ivy,
I think my best friend may have a crush on my new boyfriend. We\u2019ve been friends forever and I really don\u2019t want a guy to come between us but I really like him. She is always very excitable and flirtatious when he\u2019s around and does small touchy gestures like playing with his hair or putting her hand on his shoulder. She\u2019s also never been keen on being the third wheel but this time she\u2019ll offer that the three of go out for dinner and drinks. Last week, I noticed that she\u2019s been chatting with him on Whatsapp. How should I go about this?<\/b><\/i><\/p>\n

I\u2019m all for having my close friends bond with my man; there\u2019s nothing I appreciate more than for everyone to get along like one big happy family. But if you say she\u2019s pushing it then it\u2019s time to lay down the law.<\/p>\n

This shouldn’t be about your new man, (even if things don\u2019t work out between the both of you), this is about establishing boundaries and respect. I\u2019m also going to assume that he\u2019s been reciprocating her \u201cniceness\u201d because he wants to score points with you. Whatever you do, don\u2019t say anything to him just yet. Its way too soon in your relationship for jealousy to pop its ugly head!<\/p>\n

Clearly, you friend is comfortable sharing what\u2019s yours, only we\u2019re not discussing a new top or handbag here. So the next time she tries to indulge herself call her out on the spot. Say something like \u201cget your hands of my man!\u201d This is her first soft-warning. If she persists in this behavior than you need to stop inviting her along on your dates.<\/p>\n

If she still doesn’t get the message, then you\u2019re going to have the talk no matter how awkward it is. She will probably staunchly deny it and it may even cause a rift in your friendship at first, but if she truly cares about you, she\u2019ll keep an open-mind.<\/p>\n

Want more from Ivy? Check out her blog<\/a> and her Facebook page<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Have a question you’d like to know the answer to? Email her at tell.ivy@gmail.com.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Dear Ivy,
\nI’m almost positive that one of my guy friends is gay, though he has never told me directly.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":0,"featured_media":451651,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_preview_accessed":0,"footnotes":""},"tags":[945],"media-embed-type":[],"class_list":["post-25066","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blog","tag-askivy"],"authorship":[144],"yoast_head":"\nDear Ivy: How Do I Get My Best Friend to Lay Off My Man?<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Dear Ivy, I'm almost positive that one of my guy friends is gay, though he has never told me directly.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beirut.com\/en\/25066\/dear-ivy-how-do-i-get-my-best-friend-to-lay-off-my-man\/\" \/>\n<meta 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