{"id":32613,"date":"2014-04-23T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2014-04-23T00:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.beirut.com\/32613\/problems-only-lebanese-abroad-will-understand"},"modified":"2023-08-14T10:54:35","modified_gmt":"2023-08-14T10:54:35","slug":"problems-only-lebanese-abroad-will-understand","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beirut.com\/en\/32613\/problems-only-lebanese-abroad-will-understand\/","title":{"rendered":"Problems Only Lebanese Abroad Will Understand"},"content":{"rendered":"

As much as people in Lebanon are always dying to leave, there’s a huge amount of people in the Lebanese diaspora who wish they could come back. My friend from the US swears she’d chop off her left arm and donate it to science for the opportunity to eat an authentic bowl of Lebanese hummus. There’s just some things that can’t be replicated, and delicious Lebanese hummus is one of them. Here’s eight problems anyone living abroad will understand.<\/p>\n

1. The Lebanese Accent<\/big><\/big><\/b>
(Image via Habeen.com<\/a>)<\/p>\n

Forget the infamous linguistic trifecta of English, French, and Arabic, most people just can\u2019t understand the Lebanese accent. You\u2019ll be made fun of and incessantly asked to repeat yourself. Eventually, you\u2019ll give up and rely on the formal Arabic you last used in the third grade. One awkward side-effect is that you\u2019ll sound a lot like those dubbed Mexican soaps your Teta was so fond of.<\/p>\n

2. Not Everything\u2019s Deliverable<\/big><\/big><\/b>
(Image via Mideastposts.com<\/a>)<\/p>\n

Beirut\u2019s service sector has firmly taken on the challenge of making any product or service deliverable. Whether by foot, scooter, or car, if you want it, chances are you can get it delivered to you in the comfort of your own home. However, once you\u2019re abroad you\u2019ll soon realize how stupid you sound asking your dry cleaner if he delivers. One natural reflex you\u2019ll have to lose is the automatic recitation of your address right after your order. No one in their right mind will deliver a five dollar crepe in the middle of the night (or a three dollar argileh), cue you missing Tonino\u2019s. <\/p>\n

3. Closing Times Exist<\/big><\/big><\/b>
(Image via Beiruting.com<\/a>)<\/p>\n

Speaking of the middle of the night, don\u2019t be surprised to find out that restaurants and stores generally don\u2019t stay open very late. Most decent cities have a curfew and even the greasy diners don\u2019t generally stay open till dawn. You\u2019ll pine for the days of 3 AM Famous Chicken\u2019s from ZwZ or Snack Faysal manouches with the sunrise. Oh and if you end up in the Gulf, beware of prayer times and abandon all ideas of productivity during them.<\/p>\n

4. A Night Out Is Very Different<\/big><\/big><\/b>
(Image via Marcopolis.net<\/a>)<\/p>\n

Anyone who\u2019s lived outside Lebanon will thank their lucky stars the Lebanese clubbing model wasn\u2019t exported. Forget booking a table days in advance just to go with friend. Abroad, you can in fact just decide to go clubbing in casual street clothes, as opposed to your wedding tux\/dress for a Beiruti night out. Secretly, you\u2019ll kinda miss the allure of going all out for a night at BO, even if you\u2019d rather pretend you didn\u2019t just give up half your paycheck.<\/p>\n

5. No Good Lebanese Food<\/big><\/big><\/b>
(Image via Blogspot.com<\/a>)<\/p>\n

This is probably as universal a truth as the fact that Abo Naji makes the best coffee in Beirut. You just can\u2019t seem to find a place outside Lebanon with half-way decent Lebanese food. Not to say they won\u2019t try, as just about every capital city around the world boasts an \u201cauthentic\u201d Lebanese experience, but to no avail. It\u2019s a damn shame we can\u2019t seem to spread one of the greatest accomplishments in cuisine ever, but then again maybe it is worth booking a trip back home just to have that one bite of Teta\u2019s tabbouleh.<\/p>\n

6. That One Fares Karam Song<\/big><\/big><\/b>
(Image via Thearabnights.com<\/a>)<\/p>\n

Yes, I didn\u2019t think it was true either but the Arab Don Juan himself got it right when he spoke of the curse of the Ghirbeh and how hard it is to leave one\u2019s motherland. This one goes without saying, but anyone abroad will miss their extended family back in the 961. The most trivial activities – like a football game or a quiet evening argileh – will remind you of the endless nights you spent gathered among your cousins playing cards all night and chatting, and no number of Benjamin\u2019s will make up for that. <\/p>\n

7. Everyone Isn’t a Friend Waiting To Be Made <\/big><\/big><\/b>
(Image via Thisisbeirut.com<\/a>)<\/p>\n

If we do one thing well, besides our mezze, it\u2019s making people feel welcome, but don\u2019t expect that habit to cross borders. Gone are the days where you\u2019ll make a best friend by being squeezed next to him in a rusty old service<\/i> and forget about inviting your neighbors over for coffee and maamoul. Don\u2019t let that get you down though, you\u2019re bound to bump into a Lebanese person, we\u2019re all over the place.<\/p>\n

8. Lebanon\u2019s Street Rep<\/big><\/big><\/b>
(Image via Todayszaman.com<\/a>)<\/p>\n

Depending on where on the globe you land, you\u2019ll either be labelled as a gangster, militiaman, drug runner or a Lothario. Not that any of those are necessarily bad things, but it just goes to show how far and wide our reputation has come to precede us. Worse than that is the general idea that Beirut is in a warzone and that the country is unsafe to live. It falls on your shoulders to convince them otherwise and get them over here so we can show them what Beirut is truly all about. Just pray extra hard no one blows anything up while they\u2019re here.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

As much as people in Lebanon are always dying to leave, there’s a huge amount of people in the Lebanese diaspora who wish they could come back.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":0,"featured_media":444295,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_preview_accessed":0,"footnotes":""},"tags":[],"media-embed-type":[],"class_list":["post-32613","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-listomania"],"authorship":[22],"yoast_head":"\nProblems Only Lebanese Abroad Will Understand<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"As much as people in Lebanon are always dying to leave, there's a huge amount of people in the Lebanese diaspora who wish they could come back.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" 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