{"id":35152,"date":"2014-08-20T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2014-08-20T00:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.beirut.com\/35152\/seventy-thoughts-you-develop-on-driving-test-day"},"modified":"2023-08-11T03:48:42","modified_gmt":"2023-08-11T03:48:42","slug":"seventy-thoughts-you-develop-on-driving-test-day","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beirut.com\/en\/35152\/seventy-thoughts-you-develop-on-driving-test-day\/","title":{"rendered":"Seventy Thoughts You Develop on Driving Test Day"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Following months of extensive driving lessons supposedly meant to enlighten the masses on the noble pillars of Lebanese road ethics, I woke up ready to hit my driving test in style. I had waited for that glorious moment all of my life, and I\u2019m still trying to recover from that mess.<\/p>\n<p>  <img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.beirut.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/04\/35152.png\" width=\"100%\"><br \/>  (Image via <a href=\"https:\/\/www.beirutreport.com\/2013\/06\/the-most-dangerous-place-in-lebanon.html\" target=\"_new\" rel=\"noopener\">Beirut Report<\/a>)<\/p>\n<p>  1. Whoa!<\/p>\n<p>  2. That\u2019s one crowded place indeed.<\/p>\n<p>  3. Come early to practice, they said.<\/p>\n<p>  4. Ugh it\u2019s so hot.<\/p>\n<p>  5. Also my visual capacity is overloaded with first generation Picantos.<\/p>\n<p>  6. Where\u2019s my teacher?<\/p>\n<p>  7. Wait, there\u2019s a human walking towards me.<\/p>\n<p>  8. Harry Potter\u2019s invisibility cloak would be perfect right now.<\/p>\n<p>  9. Oh hello there, stranger.<\/p>\n<p>  10. [Double hair flip]<\/p>\n<p>  11. No I don\u2019t know where the grocery shop is.<\/p>\n<p>  12. Nor do I have tissues<\/p>\n<p>  13. Or water.<\/p>\n<p>  14. Or energy to keep the conversation going.<\/p>\n<p>  15. Is that the part where I smile?<\/p>\n<p>  16. Too late, he\u2019s already having the same conversation with the girl standing next to me (only this time he asked for water first).<\/p>\n<p>  17. Why am I not at the beach or something?<\/p>\n<p>  18. I feel sorry for the effort I invested in my beach body.<\/p>\n<p>  19. Do they offer refreshments here? <\/p>\n<p>  20. [A friendly reminder that my life plans do not include dying overheated]<\/p>\n<p>  21. There\u2019s not even a proper place to sit.<\/p>\n<p>  22. Hello there, self. You are going to ace your driving test.<\/p>\n<p>  23. Today is the day you take full control of your life.<\/p>\n<p>  24. See that parking spot over there? Your future belon\u2026<\/p>\n<p>  25. \u201cReady for a small practice?\u201d><\/p>\n<p>  26. Umm, oh, okay, hi. <\/p>\n<p>  27. Did you have to murder my existential moment?<\/p>\n<p>  28. *Starts car like a boss*<\/p>\n<p>  29. If my teacher yells \u201cdoubriage\u201d one more time, I\u2019m gonna hit his car.<\/p>\n<p>  30. On another note, I\u2019ve always questioned the origin of this word.<\/p>\n<p>  31. Dou-bri-age.<\/p>\n<p>  32. Apparently, it\u2019s a creative Lebanese translation of the French equivalent \u201ckit d\u2019embrayage.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>  33. [Emphasize on creative]<\/p>\n<p>  34. What am I even thinking\u2026<\/p>\n<p>  35. Sorry to interrupt your linguistic reflection, brain, but I got a \u201cdoubriage\u201d to maneuver here.<\/p>\n<p>  36. Why are complete strangers throwing state-the-obvious driving tips at me?<\/p>\n<p>  37. You can\u2019t just stare at me like that.<\/p>\n<p>  38. *parks correctly*<\/p>\n<p>  39. I now pronounce myself Parking Queen.<\/p>\n<p>  40. Wait I still got the dreaded back turn.<\/p>\n<p>  41. \u201cSlow down!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>  42. Oh well.<\/p>\n<p>  43. Does my teacher always have to kill my vibe?<\/p>\n<p>  44. On the bright side, I\u2019m done.<\/p>\n<p>  45. What do you mean I have to wait one more hour for the jury to come?<\/p>\n<p>  46. I should\u2019ve brought a friend for entertainment purposes.<\/p>\n<p>  47. I\u2019m officially melting.<\/p>\n<p>  48. Why are there too many parents in here?<\/p>\n<p>  49. Wait why are my parents not among the parents?<\/p>\n<p>  50. I feel abandoned, as in an intense mix of loneliness, homelessness and rejection. <\/p>\n<p>  51. No one understands my pain.<\/p>\n<p>  52. Jury is here!<\/p>\n<p>  53. Wait why is the jury, like, one person?<\/p>\n<p>  54. He looks friendly though. <\/p>\n<p>  55. Imma pull off my best French accent.<\/p>\n<p>  56. \u201cEuh, Bonjour Monsieur!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>  57. Traffic Sign Challenge: check.<\/p>\n<p>  58. What do you mean I have to wait another half-an-hour for my turn?<\/p>\n<p>  59. *Gets into the car*<\/p>\n<p>  60. \u201cCome forward.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>  61. You don\u2019t say.<\/p>\n<p>  62. [A friendly reminder that I\u2019m trying to fit a real-life vehicle into a small yellow rectangle while also struggling to achieve a delicate balance between my doubriage-related leg action and wheel-related hand action]<\/p>\n<p>  63. Wait the jury is actually two people\u2026<\/p>\n<p>  64. In other news, I somehow managed to park well enough.<\/p>\n<p>  65. Wait did I just step on the yellow line on my way back?<\/p>\n<p>  66. [Successive mini-deaths]<\/p>\n<p>  67. Hey don\u2019t look at me like that.<\/p>\n<p>  68. That was close\u2026<\/p>\n<p>  69. But hey I made it.<\/p>\n<p>  70. *friendzones \u201cdoubriage\u201d forever*<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Following months of extensive driving lessons supposedly meant to enlighten the masses on the noble pillars of Lebanese road ethics, I woke up ready to hit my driving test in style.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":0,"featured_media":422433,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ai_generated_summary":"","_preview_accessed":0,"footnotes":""},"tags":[],"media-embed-type":[],"class_list":["post-35152","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-listomania"],"authorship":[68],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v27.7 (Yoast SEO v27.7) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-premium-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Seventy Thoughts You Develop on Driving Test Day<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" 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