Slate<\/a>)<\/p>\n \u201cWhen it was time for me to advance my career and move from a medium C cup to a large D cup, I thought it was the perfect opportunity to give back \u2013 none of us would be here without the Lebanese army. They are alive in our hearts, so they might as well take our breasts.\u201d<\/p>\n
Stating that the Lebanese army and its martyrs is a case that is close to both her breasts and her heart, the buxom singer vowed that the army\u2019s sacrifices wouldn’t go unnoticed, and that every time her breasts would grace the stage, it would be as if a million of the army\u2019s finest men were up there with her. <\/p>\n
The tone-deaf diva went on to add how much she loved the Lebanese cedar, claiming that her next chesticular upgrade will definitely be related to a cedar, somehow.<\/p>\n
Sources shared that this dedication was only the first step in the pop star\u2019s journey, revealing that her implants were abreast of plans to release an entire album for the army titled \u201cNotes From My Chests.\u201d As of press time, the Lebanese Army Commander had yet to comment on the moving gesture. <\/p>\n
Disclaimer for the unfunny: This was a satirical blog post.<\/b><\/i><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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