{"id":38268,"date":"2015-01-16T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2015-01-16T00:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.beirut.com\/38268\/ten-ways-were-already-failing-in-2015"},"modified":"2015-01-16T00:00:00","modified_gmt":"2015-01-16T00:00:00","slug":"ten-ways-were-already-failing-in-2015","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beirut.com\/en\/38268\/ten-ways-were-already-failing-in-2015\/","title":{"rendered":"Ten Ways We&#8217;re Already Failing in 2015"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>\u2018Tis the season for resolutions, and we\u2019ve probably already broken ours twice over. In fact, I\u2019ve skipped ahead and broken some 2016-2017 resolutions as well, just to be safe. <\/p>\n<p>  <b><big><big>1. Unless a bag of Hot and Spicy Chex Mix is now considered to be a \u201cbalanced meal\u201d and an \u201cappropriate portion\u201d \u2013 I failed the healthy eating resolution.<\/b><\/big><\/big><br \/>  <img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/img.pandawhale.com\/76748-Gladiator-thumbs-down-gif-b5MO.gif\" width=\"100%\"><\/p>\n<p>  <b><big><big>2. Seeing two men urinating on the side of the road has already broken my \u201cno strange penises\u201d rule for the year. I have high hopes for year 2016.<\/b><\/big><\/big><br \/>  <img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.reactiongifs.us\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/08\/shaking_head_breaking_bad.gif\" width=\"100%\"><\/p>\n<p>  <b><big><big>3. January 16 marks the 16th day of the New Year on which I fail to fulfill my exercise resolution, I hope you guys are failing this one too. <\/b><\/big><\/big><\/p>\n<p>  <b><big><big>4. Mindless \u2018slacktivism?\u2019 Check! Let\u2019s throw out as many status updates as possible from the warm comfort of our couch. <\/b><\/big><\/big><br \/>  <img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.alettafrancina.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/08\/cry2520pagk6z.gif\" width=\"100%\"><\/p>\n<p>  <b><big><big>5. It still counts as reading if it\u2019s Twitter updates, right?<\/b><\/big><\/big><\/p>\n<p>  <b><big><big>6. Don\u2019t buy in to fads. But this one Instagrammer is swearing that these exotic berries will make me lose six-hundred pounds in a week so I\u2019ll maybe try them for like a month. And this advertisement is saying I can cure my erectile problems with ONE SIMPLE TRICK!<\/b><\/big><\/big><br \/>  <img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.gifwave.com\/media\/10326\/unimpressed-disappointed-huh-disbelief.gif\" width=\"100%\"><\/p>\n<p>  <b><big><big>7. Avoid tequila shots, particularly on weekdays. Failed, twice. <\/b><\/big><\/big><\/p>\n<p>  <b><big><big>8. Not losing my cool in traffic, not cursing in traffic, not contemplating homicide in traffic, not cutting people off, not cutting people off particularly when they\u2019re old men and women \u2013 all failed.<\/b><\/big><\/big><br \/>  <img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/25.media.tumblr.com\/tumblr_m9i9oqrnt31qejwiio1_500.gif\" width=\"100%\"><\/p>\n<p>  <b><big><big>9. Don\u2019t waste money on ridiculous things: failed when I decided to purchase a cat toy for my dog.<\/b><\/big><\/big><\/p>\n<p>  <b><big><big>10. Spend time with family: failed; maybe I\u2019ll see them next year.<\/b><\/big><\/big>  <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u2018Tis the season for resolutions, and we\u2019ve probably already broken ours twice over.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":0,"featured_media":419241,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_preview_accessed":0,"footnotes":""},"tags":[],"media-embed-type":[],"class_list":["post-38268","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-listomania"],"authorship":[102],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v27.3 (Yoast SEO v27.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-premium-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Ten Ways We&#039;re Already Failing in 2015<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"\u2018Tis the season for resolutions, and we\u2019ve probably already broken ours twice over.\" \/>\n<meta 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