{"id":38745,"date":"2015-02-10T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2015-02-10T00:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.beirut.com\/38745\/why-its-better-to-be-single-on-valentines-day"},"modified":"2015-02-10T00:00:00","modified_gmt":"2015-02-10T00:00:00","slug":"why-its-better-to-be-single-on-valentines-day","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beirut.com\/en\/38745\/why-its-better-to-be-single-on-valentines-day\/","title":{"rendered":"Why It&#8217;s Better To Be Single On Valentine&#8217;s Day"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>February 14 is a wonderful day, for it marks the birth date of Tunisian singer and professional ear-piercing screamer, Latifa. Oh, it\u2019s also Valentine\u2019s Day. <\/p>\n<p>  Being in a relationship may seem wonderful and glamorous to the untrained eye, but I, a lonely single person, am here to discredit that theory. From a distance, a relationship appears to be all about hand-holding, wining and dining, sweet love-making, and watching movies whilst clutching your beloveds\u2019 hand in a death grip in fear that they might slip away. The reality of the situation is much grimmer and more focused around mentally noting the other person\u2019s short-comings, criticizing the way they dress, and then maybe watching a movie you hate just to take a break from all the hatred. <\/p>\n<p>  Here are ten reasons it\u2019s better to be single than in a relationship.<\/p>\n<p>  <b><big><big>1. You get to avoid horrible small-talk<\/big><\/big><\/b><br \/>  <img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/s3-ec.buzzfed.com\/static\/enhanced\/webdr06\/2013\/8\/5\/14\/anigif_enhanced-buzz-3429-1375727564-6.gif\"width=\"100%\"><\/p>\n<p>  \u201cOh, your boss said what? THAT\u2019S HILARIOUS, I CARE SO MUCH ABOUT THIS CONVERSATION.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>  <b><big><big>2. You get to not share food<\/big><\/big><\/b><br \/>  <img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/24.media.tumblr.com\/tumblr_m6w869NNEW1qjd1y3o1_500.gif\"width=\"100%\"><\/p>\n<p>  What is romantic about sharing a pizza? Eating two entire pizzas by yourself is way more emotionally pleasing and probably extremely healthy because you need carbohydrates for the energy it takes to generate high levels of hatred \u2013 trust me on this.<\/p>\n<p>  <b><big><big>3. You get to watch whatever you want, whenever you want<\/big><\/big><\/b><br \/>  <img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.rantlifestyle.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/02\/dancing.gif\"width=\"100%\"><\/p>\n<p>  You want to revisit Seinfeld for the sixth time this year and not have anyone judge you? Go right ahead, nobody forcing you to watch B-side sci-fi movies here! <\/p>\n<p>  <b><big><big>4. You get unlimited possibilities for hooking up<\/big><\/big><\/b><br \/>  <img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/coedmagazine.files.wordpress.com\/2013\/01\/jennifer-lawrence-gif-32.gif\"width=\"100%\"><\/p>\n<p>  Go out and sow your oats, and by oats we mean the assortment of subpar genitals that will throw themselves at you. <\/p>\n<p>  <b><big><big>5. You get to shower alone<\/big><\/big><\/b><br \/>  <img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/s3-ec.buzzfed.com\/static\/2014-09\/22\/20\/enhanced\/webdr07\/anigif_enhanced-1758-1411430495-2.gif\"width=\"100%\"><\/p>\n<p>  While showering with a sexual companion may seem like the ultimate fantasy, it is actually quite a pain. You have to look sexy and desirable while enormous amounts of shampoo stream into your mouth, and you can\u2019t even gag. Not to mention, you have to sneak-wash your butt in the 20 second intervals that your partner has soap in his\/her eyes, and we all know that butt washing is the most important (if not the only) reason to shower. <\/p>\n<p>  <b><big><big>6. February 14 is another day for you to \u2018do you\u2019<\/big><\/big><\/b><br \/>  <img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/cdn29.elitedaily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/11\/Ua6HZBr.gif\"width=\"100%\"><\/p>\n<p>  February 14th is another chill day to be spent in sweatpants. Guess who doesn\u2019t have to spend another Valentine\u2019s Day pretending they love a tacky red teddy bear while putting their mouth on someone else\u2019s genitals? You. Because you\u2019re single.<\/p>\n<p>  <b><big><big>7. You get to experience the joy of being selfish<\/big><\/big><\/b><br \/>  <img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/31.media.tumblr.com\/50eafe583ddcad271470f04be4f07ad0\/tumblr_inline_n9glq1G51I1rgrqpu.gif\"width=\"100%\"><\/p>\n<p>  Ignore calls and texts when you want to, show up late, or don\u2019t show up at all! You don\u2019t owe any common decency to anybody so feel free to act like the first world trash bag that you are deep inside.<\/p>\n<p>  <b><big><big>8. You get to revisit your exes<\/big><\/big><\/b><br \/>  <img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/media0.giphy.com\/media\/7mARDnRHJyC1a\/200_s.gif\"width=\"100%\"><\/p>\n<p>  This is yet another great advantage to being single, you get to call up some exes and use them for what they\u2019re good for: normally it\u2019s cuddling or brief oral sex followed by taking you out for burgers. Zero guilt and shame for a single person. <\/p>\n<p>  <b><big><big>9. You get to be pretty gross<\/big><\/big><\/b><br \/>  <img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/cdn29.elitedaily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/11\/tumblr_mie44vDVhF1qbdmyao1_500.gif\"width=\"100%\"><\/p>\n<p>  Hey, you want to hang out in pajamas and experiment with food pairings that include industrial amounts of peanut butter and some suspicious cured meats? You want to order and consume four desserts for breakfast and not have to look cute while doing it? Enjoy. Happy it\u2019s better to be single day. <\/p>\n<p>  <b><big><big>10. You get to YouTube what you want, when you feel like it<\/big><\/big><\/b><br \/>  <img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/24.media.tumblr.com\/c1b299f72fc21d46652d78935a5ac940\/tumblr_mkwh9kcvfH1s0hia6o1_500.gif\"width=\"100%\"><\/p>\n<p>  Possibly the worst part about being in a relationship is having to fake interest in somebody else\u2019s YouTube video picks. Have you ever been made to watch a ridiculous 16 minute video of a prank or a sporting event? If you answered yes, then congratulations \u2013 you\u2019ve survived the most painful part of life in the 21st century. With the single life, you can ensure that nobody will ever force you to watch a dumb video ever again. <\/p>\n<p>  <b>And a quick reminder for everybody for this holy holiday: do not hook up on Valentine\u2019s Day. That throws your hook-up into a time warp resulting in a very messy clean-up on the following day. <\/b>   <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>February 14 is a wonderful day, for it marks the birth date of Tunisian singer and professional ear-piercing screamer, Latifa.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":0,"featured_media":418873,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ai_generated_summary":"","_preview_accessed":0,"footnotes":""},"tags":[],"media-embed-type":[],"class_list":["post-38745","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blog"],"authorship":[102],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v27.9 (Yoast SEO v27.9) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-premium-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Why It&#039;s Better To Be Single On Valentine&#039;s Day<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"February 14 is a 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