{"id":39007,"date":"2015-02-27T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2015-02-27T00:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.beirut.com\/39007\/what-i-imagine-my-ex-boyfriend-and-his-current-girlfriend-are-doing-now"},"modified":"2015-02-27T00:00:00","modified_gmt":"2015-02-27T00:00:00","slug":"what-i-imagine-my-ex-boyfriend-and-his-current-girlfriend-are-doing-now","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beirut.com\/en\/39007\/what-i-imagine-my-ex-boyfriend-and-his-current-girlfriend-are-doing-now\/","title":{"rendered":"What I Imagine My Ex-Boyfriend and His Current Girlfriend Are Doing Now"},"content":{"rendered":"

Let us take a walk through the land of exes. The deserted wasteland where you have left a plethora of mouth-breathers and premature ejaculators, let us journey through past regrets and abysmal failures together.<\/p>\n


(Image via tumblr.com<\/a>)<\/p>\n

Though it is seen as a sign of failure, the ability to end relationships is something magnificent that we often take for granted in today\u2019s world. Think back to the \u201colden days\u201d when a man would buy a woman for the hefty price of three cows, or whatever. She couldn\u2019t just wake up one day and exclaim, \u201chey, I don\u2019t like your mother or the fact that you eat moose with your bare hands, we need to break up!\u201d No. She had to stick it out until her timely death at the age of 35, presumably after being mauled by a large animal or catching a cold \u2013 both fatal and regular occurrences at the time. <\/p>\n

That being said, we can realize how important the mere ability to break up is. We can effectively eliminate anybody out of our lives, for any reason \u2013 and all we\u2019re left with is horrible pieces of jewelry and a sense of wondering what he is doing now with his new girlfriend. This is what I feel my ex-boyfriend is doing with his current girlfriend right now:<\/p>\n

1. Misusing words and phrases with utmost confidence.<\/big><\/big><\/b>
Guess what sweetheart? You and I didn\u2019t have \u201cgreat feng shui\u201d because that is something that pertains to furniture and apartments. <\/p>\n

2. Talking about me, and any other ex.<\/big><\/big><\/b>
Yep, he\u2019s probably discussing how horrible I was because I wouldn\u2019t eat rice and because I was open about loving my dog more than I loved him. It\u2019s all true; I am a rice-hating dog-obsessed woman. <\/p>\n

3. “Small-talk texting\u201d her to death.<\/big><\/big><\/b>
Small-talk texting is one of the worst parts of a new relationship, you get asked how you are fifteen times a day and can never answer honestly, \u201cWell, I just realized that life is basically meaningless and that the human condition is arbitrary, fleeting, and fragile \u2013 how are YOU?\u201d You can\u2019t really say that, so you\u2019ll probably just say you\u2019re great and move on. My ex\u2019s specialty was asking random questions to make someone feel important. For example, asking her if she loves sea bass then never taking her out to consume any because he has to have dinner with his mom\/aunt\/boss every single night of his life. <\/p>\n

4. Telling her a long and winding story, with no end in sight.<\/big><\/big><\/b>
Don\u2019t hold your breath; the stories about his boss will only get longer and more detailed. Has he given you a detailed account of his boss\u2019s health problems yet? Well, wait for it \u2013 it\u2019s coming. <\/p>\n

5. Trying to sell her on a threesome.<\/big><\/big><\/b>
After he establishes himself as a steady boyfriend, he will start to bring up threesomes. OFTEN. He will tell you about how he read that it is “the most intense experience in the world.” First: know that he doesn\u2019t read anything beyond instructions on how to make soup. He will also tell you that he wants to do it for your pleasure, not his. So second: know that he\u2019s a big liar. He can barely get one woman to sleep with him at a time, but I suppose since you’re now dating him, you already know that.<\/p>\n

6. Subtly suggesting she get plastic surgery.<\/big><\/big><\/b>
It\u2019s okay \u2013 he does it to everybody he meets. <\/p>\n

7. Making really dumb plans.<\/big><\/big><\/b>
Yeah \u2013 so I never loved the idea of us climbing Mount Kilimanjaro mostly because he never seemed capable of climbing a flight of stairs without a break. Also, it\u2019s cute that you think I ever trusted you enough to be on a mountain with you. <\/p>\n

8. Trying to kiss her in the middle of an argument.<\/big><\/big><\/b>
That\u2019s not as charming as you think. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Let us take a walk through the land of exes.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":0,"featured_media":418597,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ai_generated_summary":"","_preview_accessed":0,"footnotes":""},"tags":[],"media-embed-type":[],"class_list":["post-39007","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blog"],"authorship":[102],"yoast_head":"\nWhat I Imagine My Ex-Boyfriend and His Current Girlfriend Are Doing Now<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Let us take a walk through the land of exes.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beirut.com\/en\/39007\/what-i-imagine-my-ex-boyfriend-and-his-current-girlfriend-are-doing-now\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"What I Imagine My Ex-Boyfriend and His Current Girlfriend Are Doing Now\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Let us take a walk through the land of exes.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beirut.com\/en\/39007\/what-i-imagine-my-ex-boyfriend-and-his-current-girlfriend-are-doing-now\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Beirut.com\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/beirutcityguide\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2015-02-27T00:00:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beirut.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/04\/39007.png\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"500\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"486\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/png\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@beirutcityguide\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@beirutcityguide\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.beirut.com\\\/en\\\/39007\\\/what-i-imagine-my-ex-boyfriend-and-his-current-girlfriend-are-doing-now\\\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.beirut.com\\\/en\\\/39007\\\/what-i-imagine-my-ex-boyfriend-and-his-current-girlfriend-are-doing-now\\\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"\",\"@id\":\"\"},\"headline\":\"What I Imagine My Ex-Boyfriend and His Current Girlfriend Are Doing Now\",\"datePublished\":\"2015-02-27T00:00:00+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.beirut.com\\\/en\\\/39007\\\/what-i-imagine-my-ex-boyfriend-and-his-current-girlfriend-are-doing-now\\\/\"},\"wordCount\":669,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.beirut.com\\\/ar\\\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.beirut.com\\\/en\\\/39007\\\/what-i-imagine-my-ex-boyfriend-and-his-current-girlfriend-are-doing-now\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.beirut.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2023\\\/04\\\/39007.png\",\"articleSection\":[\"Blog\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.beirut.com\\\/en\\\/39007\\\/what-i-imagine-my-ex-boyfriend-and-his-current-girlfriend-are-doing-now\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.beirut.com\\\/en\\\/39007\\\/what-i-imagine-my-ex-boyfriend-and-his-current-girlfriend-are-doing-now\\\/\",\"name\":\"What I Imagine My Ex-Boyfriend and His Current Girlfriend Are Doing Now\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.beirut.com\\\/ar\\\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.beirut.com\\\/en\\\/39007\\\/what-i-imagine-my-ex-boyfriend-and-his-current-girlfriend-are-doing-now\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.beirut.com\\\/en\\\/39007\\\/what-i-imagine-my-ex-boyfriend-and-his-current-girlfriend-are-doing-now\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.beirut.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2023\\\/04\\\/39007.png\",\"datePublished\":\"2015-02-27T00:00:00+00:00\",\"description\":\"Let us take a walk through the land of exes.\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.beirut.com\\\/en\\\/39007\\\/what-i-imagine-my-ex-boyfriend-and-his-current-girlfriend-are-doing-now\\\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/www.beirut.com\\\/en\\\/39007\\\/what-i-imagine-my-ex-boyfriend-and-his-current-girlfriend-are-doing-now\\\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.beirut.com\\\/en\\\/39007\\\/what-i-imagine-my-ex-boyfriend-and-his-current-girlfriend-are-doing-now\\\/#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.beirut.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2023\\\/04\\\/39007.png\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.beirut.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2023\\\/04\\\/39007.png\",\"width\":500,\"height\":486},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.beirut.com\\\/en\\\/39007\\\/what-i-imagine-my-ex-boyfriend-and-his-current-girlfriend-are-doing-now\\\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.beirut.com\\\/ar\\\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"What I Imagine My Ex-Boyfriend and His Current Girlfriend Are Doing Now\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.beirut.com\\\/ar\\\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.beirut.com\\\/ar\\\/\",\"name\":\"Beirut.com\",\"description\":\"Beirut.com is your insider guide to Lebanon, with the best in food, culture, neighborhoods, and everything new. Discover where to go and fall in love with our country.\",\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.beirut.com\\\/ar\\\/#organization\"},\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.beirut.com\\\/ar\\\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Organization\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.beirut.com\\\/ar\\\/#organization\",\"name\":\"Beirut.com, SA\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.beirut.com\\\/ar\\\/\",\"logo\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.beirut.com\\\/ar\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/logo\\\/image\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.beirut.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2023\\\/04\\\/Beirut.com-Logo-scaled.jpg\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.beirut.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2023\\\/04\\\/Beirut.com-Logo-scaled.jpg\",\"width\":2560,\"height\":1044,\"caption\":\"Beirut.com, SA\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.beirut.com\\\/ar\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/logo\\\/image\\\/\"},\"sameAs\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/www.facebook.com\\\/beirutcityguide\",\"https:\\\/\\\/x.com\\\/beirutcityguide\"]}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO Premium plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"What I Imagine My Ex-Boyfriend and His Current Girlfriend Are Doing Now","description":"Let us take a walk through the land of exes.","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beirut.com\/en\/39007\/what-i-imagine-my-ex-boyfriend-and-his-current-girlfriend-are-doing-now\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"What I Imagine My Ex-Boyfriend and His Current Girlfriend Are Doing Now","og_description":"Let us take a walk through the land of exes.","og_url":"https:\/\/www.beirut.com\/en\/39007\/what-i-imagine-my-ex-boyfriend-and-his-current-girlfriend-are-doing-now\/","og_site_name":"Beirut.com","article_publisher":"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/beirutcityguide","article_published_time":"2015-02-27T00:00:00+00:00","og_image":[{"width":500,"height":486,"url":"https:\/\/www.beirut.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/04\/39007.png","type":"image\/png"}],"twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_creator":"@beirutcityguide","twitter_site":"@beirutcityguide","twitter_misc":{"Est. reading time":"3 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/www.beirut.com\/en\/39007\/what-i-imagine-my-ex-boyfriend-and-his-current-girlfriend-are-doing-now\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beirut.com\/en\/39007\/what-i-imagine-my-ex-boyfriend-and-his-current-girlfriend-are-doing-now\/"},"author":{"name":"","@id":""},"headline":"What I Imagine My Ex-Boyfriend and His Current Girlfriend Are Doing Now","datePublished":"2015-02-27T00:00:00+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beirut.com\/en\/39007\/what-i-imagine-my-ex-boyfriend-and-his-current-girlfriend-are-doing-now\/"},"wordCount":669,"publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beirut.com\/ar\/#organization"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beirut.com\/en\/39007\/what-i-imagine-my-ex-boyfriend-and-his-current-girlfriend-are-doing-now\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/www.beirut.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/04\/39007.png","articleSection":["Blog"],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.beirut.com\/en\/39007\/what-i-imagine-my-ex-boyfriend-and-his-current-girlfriend-are-doing-now\/","url":"https:\/\/www.beirut.com\/en\/39007\/what-i-imagine-my-ex-boyfriend-and-his-current-girlfriend-are-doing-now\/","name":"What I Imagine My Ex-Boyfriend and His Current Girlfriend Are Doing Now","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beirut.com\/ar\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beirut.com\/en\/39007\/what-i-imagine-my-ex-boyfriend-and-his-current-girlfriend-are-doing-now\/#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beirut.com\/en\/39007\/what-i-imagine-my-ex-boyfriend-and-his-current-girlfriend-are-doing-now\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/www.beirut.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/04\/39007.png","datePublished":"2015-02-27T00:00:00+00:00","description":"Let us take a walk through the land of exes.","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beirut.com\/en\/39007\/what-i-imagine-my-ex-boyfriend-and-his-current-girlfriend-are-doing-now\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.beirut.com\/en\/39007\/what-i-imagine-my-ex-boyfriend-and-his-current-girlfriend-are-doing-now\/"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beirut.com\/en\/39007\/what-i-imagine-my-ex-boyfriend-and-his-current-girlfriend-are-doing-now\/#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/www.beirut.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/04\/39007.png","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.beirut.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/04\/39007.png","width":500,"height":486},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.beirut.com\/en\/39007\/what-i-imagine-my-ex-boyfriend-and-his-current-girlfriend-are-doing-now\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.beirut.com\/ar\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"What I Imagine My Ex-Boyfriend and His Current Girlfriend Are Doing Now"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.beirut.com\/ar\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.beirut.com\/ar\/","name":"Beirut.com","description":"Beirut.com is your insider guide to Lebanon, with the best in food, culture, neighborhoods, and everything new. Discover where to go and fall in love with our country.","publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beirut.com\/ar\/#organization"},"potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beirut.com\/ar\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Organization","@id":"https:\/\/www.beirut.com\/ar\/#organization","name":"Beirut.com, SA","url":"https:\/\/www.beirut.com\/ar\/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beirut.com\/ar\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.beirut.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/04\/Beirut.com-Logo-scaled.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.beirut.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/04\/Beirut.com-Logo-scaled.jpg","width":2560,"height":1044,"caption":"Beirut.com, SA"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beirut.com\/ar\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/"},"sameAs":["https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/beirutcityguide","https:\/\/x.com\/beirutcityguide"]}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beirut.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39007","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beirut.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beirut.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beirut.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=39007"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.beirut.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39007\/revisions"}],"wp:authorship":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beirut.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/102"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beirut.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/418597"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beirut.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=39007"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beirut.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=39007"},{"taxonomy":"media-embed-type","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beirut.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media-embed-type?post=39007"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}