{"id":39924,"date":"2015-04-01T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2015-04-01T00:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.beirut.com\/39924\/new-traffic-law-puts-entire-country-behind-bars"},"modified":"2015-04-01T00:00:00","modified_gmt":"2015-04-01T00:00:00","slug":"new-traffic-law-puts-entire-country-behind-bars","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beirut.com\/en\/39924\/new-traffic-law-puts-entire-country-behind-bars\/","title":{"rendered":"New Traffic Law Puts Entire Country Behind Bars"},"content":{"rendered":"

Since the new traffic law has gone into effect, police stations across Beirut have been flooded with citizens arrested for a medley of activities such as breathing, cycling, and crossing streets. The traffic law, which initially resulted in the issuing of two million fines within the first 20 minutes of its inception, has been a controversial topic in the country since its announcement. <\/p>\n

\u201cI thought it was an April Fool\u2019s Joke at first,\u201d shared Jad Dergham, a local Hamra policeman. \u201cDo they really expect us to stop every person for speeding and cycling without a helmet? I don\u2019t have time for that, I still haven\u2019t beat level 231 on Candy Crush,\u201d said Dergham as he angrily lit a cigarette and replied to the Whatsapp messages from his mistress. <\/p>\n


(GIF via Share Gif<\/a>)<\/p>\n

We spoke to the arresting officer of one of the young men who failed to pay extensive fines for loitering, jaywalking, and not using the pedestrian bridge. Karim J. was arrested on Jal El Dib highway when he tried to cross over to McDonald\u2019s for what he thought was an innocent upsized Big Mac meal. <\/p>\n

\u201cKarim put Lebanon\u2019s security in danger,\u201d stated the arresting officer who looked like a douche, as most cops do. \u201cKarim said there were no pedestrian bridges or sidewalks; but that\u2019s not my problem, he should have waited for us to build some.\u201d Upon his release from jail, Karim was weary and reportedly walked from Antelias to Jounieh to find a pedestrian bridge to cross, in order to avoid arrest. \u201cI\u2019ll always use the pedestrian bridge from now on, even if it\u2019s not there,\u201d he said. <\/p>\n

But Karim is only one out of two million drivers who are currently behind bars for violating the many new sub-categories of the new law. The new law stipulates that points be deducted from driver\u2019s licenses after each violation, which rendered the Lebanese population license-less within hours. Security forces confirmed that those driving without a license would not result in any point deduction, a little loophole to keep in mind. <\/p>\n

Here at Beirut.com, we are disappointed that the point system does not take other more dire matters into consideration. For example, we would love it if people abusing their wives or housekeepers would get points deducted from their driver\u2019s licenses. We will settle, however, for fining men who wear flip-flops and skull-themed jewelry.<\/p>\n

Disclaimer for the slow and un-funny: This was a satirical blog post.<\/b><\/big><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Since the new traffic law has gone into effect, police stations across Beirut have been flooded with citizens arrested for a medley of activities such as breathing, cycling, and crossing streets.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":0,"featured_media":418091,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"wpai_generated_summary":"","_preview_accessed":0,"_lftp_listicle_injection":"","footnotes":""},"tags":[],"media-embed-type":[],"class_list":["post-39924","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blog"],"authorship":[102],"yoast_head":"\nNew Traffic Law Puts Entire Country Behind Bars<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Since the new traffic law has gone into effect, police stations across Beirut have been flooded with citizens arrested for a medley of activities such as breathing, cycling, and crossing streets.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, 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