{"id":40017,"date":"2015-08-19T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2015-08-19T00:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.beirut.com\/40017\/lebanese-wine-recommendations-for-every-personality"},"modified":"2015-08-19T00:00:00","modified_gmt":"2015-08-19T00:00:00","slug":"lebanese-wine-recommendations-for-every-personality","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beirut.com\/en\/40017\/lebanese-wine-recommendations-for-every-personality\/","title":{"rendered":"Lebanese Wine Recommendations For Every Personality"},"content":{"rendered":"<big>We all know that wine is the second best thing to come out of the Bekaa Valley. When you can&#8217;t get your hands on the first thing, this will still do the trick. <br \/>  <br \/>  The problem with asking a store clerk to help you pick out wine is that they\u2019ll hassle you with tons of questions like, \u201cDo you have a preference for the origin of the wine?  What year would you like?\u201d It\u2019s like: no I don\u2019t care where or how the grape grew up, I\u2019m just trying to forget some of my life choices and buy the second cheapest wine available so you, dear stranger, think I have a shred of class and preference.  <br \/>  <br \/>  Seeing as how my only qualification for reviewing wine is the fact that I try to drink it on a daily basis, here are my Lebanese wine recommendations!<br \/>  <br \/>  <img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/ak-hdl.buzzfed.com\/static\/2014-01\/enhanced\/webdr05\/23\/14\/anigif_enhanced-buzz-2576-1390507194-4.gif\"width=\"100%\"><br \/>  <br \/>  <b>For the hard-working Lebanese mom, we have Ksara\u2019s Blanc de Blanc.<\/b> Pour out a glass, swirl it around, and then proceed to drink straight from the bottle if nobody is watching. Now is the time to read your kids\u2019 report cards; oh, little Karim can\u2019t read? Drink some more and notice how surprisingly okay with that you are. This gorgeous yellow wine may look like pee, but it also tastes a lot like pee \u2013 so, enjoy. This oaky chardonnay is like, not oaky at all probably \u2013 I don\u2019t even know if it\u2019s a chardonnay but the end-game is all the same: you end up passed out on the couch while the kids go through your stuff and find your extensive dildo collection.<br \/>  <br \/>  <img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/31.media.tumblr.com\/7465fef23ebdfceddc527918a36c3e10\/tumblr_inline_mvze2gcA1c1rylj5o.gif\"width=\"100%\"><br \/>  <br \/>  <b>For the sophisticated palate of pre-teen whores we have a lovely pink selection, the Chateau Musar\u2019s Jeaune Ros\u00e9.<\/b> It is bursting with fruit, just like your womb will be on prom night \u2013 that joke means that you\u2019re going to get pregnant&#8230; at your prom. This pairs wonderfully with a Big Mac or Roadster\u2019s chicken strips dipped in buffalo sauce with a side of sour cream. <br \/>  <br \/>  <img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/33.media.tumblr.com\/91dbe179d380e9cb29107e43039ccc05\/tumblr_mnncupofRU1stoud8o3_500.gif\"width=\"100%\"><br \/>  <br \/>  <b>For men who are over 50 and filthy rich, you can pair your obnoxious cigar with a fine glass of Wardy\u2019s Private Selection red.<\/b> It has the word private in it, like your penis is privately seen by girls you pay and urologists. There are tons of smells in this one: cedar, spice, your dentures, and your daughter\u2019s visible daddy issues.<br \/>  <br \/>  <img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/ak-hdl.buzzfed.com\/static\/2014-01\/enhanced\/webdr03\/23\/16\/anigif_enhanced-buzz-3197-1390510971-4.gif\"width=\"100%\"><br \/>  <br \/>  <b>For the suburban trophy wife, we have a lovely glass of red from Chateau Kefraya Les Breteches \u2013 round and fruity, just like your husband.<\/b> Drink it and: mmmm, it stings your mouth so good. This wine will also stain your teeth wonderfully, and make you look like you\u2019ve been feasting on vats of blood, which is very sophisticated and cool. Pair with any Herm\u00e8s bag. <br \/>  <br \/>  <img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/33.media.tumblr.com\/5762a5e95afe5f9f22c26c73ccf1fb38\/tumblr_mlxoi4Mdv81s4xdz1o1_500.gif\"width=\"100%\"><br \/>  <br \/>  <b>Now for people in their twenties, you\u2019re starting to grow up and impressing your friends is important. That\u2019s why I always order a glass of Chateau Ka\u2019s Cadet de Ka \u2013 in whatever year is cheapest. <\/b> This one is a little dry. Oh fuck, it\u2019s extremely dry, grab a beverage quick because you\u2019re about to be robbed of all your saliva. Okay, we\u2019re good. Now, this cabernet has 14% alcohol content, which is pretty high and that\u2019s what you should be looking for in all your wines. Okay honestly, this one kind of smells like nail polish remover, the Sally Hansen one in particular, but it tastes really nice, like I\u2019m starting to forget that <b>my chances of being gainfully employed are slim to none.<\/b><br \/>  <br \/>  <img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/uproxx.files.wordpress.com\/2012\/06\/cersei-more-wine.gif\"width=\"100%\"><br \/>  <br \/>  On a final note, I\u2019ll end by saying that I wish wine tasted more like cherry jam. <\/big><br \/>      <figure class=\"wp-block-gallery has-nested-images columns-default is-cropped wp-block-gallery-1 is-layout-flex wp-block-gallery-is-layout-flex\"><figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\" ><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"250\" height=\"183\" data-id=\"418031\" src=\"https:\/\/www.beirut.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/04\/40017-250x183.png\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-418031\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.beirut.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/04\/40017-250x183.png 250w, https:\/\/www.beirut.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/04\/40017.png 263w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 250px) 100vw, 250px\" \/><\/figure><\/figure>    ","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p><big>We all know that wine is the second best thing to come out of the Bekaa Valley.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":0,"featured_media":418033,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_preview_accessed":0,"footnotes":""},"tags":[],"media-embed-type":[],"class_list":["post-40017","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blog"],"authorship":[102],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v27.3 (Yoast SEO v27.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-premium-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Lebanese Wine Recommendations For Every Personality<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"We all know that wine is the second best thing to come out of 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