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<\/p>\nThere\u2019s no getting around being called a slut. If you\u2019re a female with a vagina, chances are you\u2019ve been called a slut at some point, particularly in Lebanon. In fact, the mere notion that you might have pleasurable physical relationships is THE most disgraceful thing a woman in our country could endure because society dictates that our self-worth is somehow directly linked to our (untouched) hymens. <\/p>\n
And so there is a very strict image we have to perpetuate to be considered \u201cgood\u201d Lebanese girls: polished, innocent, virginal. If you happen to be a sexually liberal female, comfortable with your sexuality and your pleasure, living in Lebanon will be perplexing. Society will demonize and disgrace you for any behavior they believe deviates from conventional gender expectations, which is total bullshit. <\/p>\n
This judgment will not only come at you from the puritanical elements of society, you can expect it from the very men who are more than happy to plow you a few times a week, too. I’ve heard this firsthand from many of my male friends. They will gladly have a sexual relationship with a woman they\u2019re attracted to, but still talk shit behind her back for being willing to have casual sex. They can\u2019t wrap their stunted brains around the fact that a woman is capable of engaging in sex for pleasure, just as they are. <\/p>\n
The setup for sex in Lebanon is brimming with slut-shaming. We all know how it works: for most of us, there are no spaces for real privacy, so if you want to have sex with your boyfriend you need to do it at a hotel. That hotel has to be far away from your house so that you won\u2019t run into anybody you may know, which is still always a haunting possibility in a small country like ours.<\/p>\n
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The perplexing thing about the word \u201cslut\u201d is that it’s difficult to define, yet still so ubiquitously used. Men are programmed to want a “lady in the streets and a freak in the sheets” or whatever ridiculousness is being perpetuated by the garbage \u201cbro\u201d sites out there. They want a woman who is horny and slutty, but only for them. A woman is expected to feel embarrassment if she enjoys sex, and women who have sex \u2013 whether with their steady boyfriends or with one-night-stands \u2013 are expected to hide that part of them away because it’s considered disgraceful. <\/p>\n
I know a girl who is terrified of breaking up with her boyfriend because she’s afraid he’s going to tell people they\u2019ve had sex. The idea of people knowing she’s no longer a virgin is more terrifying than staying with someone she despises. <\/p>\n
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This isn\u2019t just on men, women are guilty of this; too; they fault other women for their sexual behavior; blind to their internalized misogyny. Historically, women have been trophies for victorious males, and so we’ve been sort of bred to compete with one another for the attention of males. <\/p>\n
But it’s not exactly hardwired into our DNA. The first cave paintings didn’t feature a topless girl with the caption, \u201cHannah is an anal whore.\u201d <\/p>\n
Going into the bathroom at AUB\u2019s Jafet library, you can read all kinds of sexual confessions scribbled on the doors; from women admitting that oral sex is enjoyable or just sharing the fact that their boyfriend\u2019s cock is, and I quote, \u201cthe best dick in the world.\u201d These messages are an attempt at putting an idea out there: that sex is okay, that we\u2019re all doing it, and that we all love it. When Lebanon learns to regard female sexuality as healthy and normal, we\u2019ll have a shot at gender equality. <\/p>\n
I already anticipate comments on this article saying that there is a line between having sex and being a slut, and that we shouldn\u2019t \u201cdefend\u201d sluts. These very comments are the problem: deeming some sex as acceptable, and other sex as slutty and shameful; because really, what makes someone a slut? It\u2019s probably any and all of us. It’s anyone who has chosen to step outside of the very narrow lane that good girls are expected to stay within.<\/big><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
There\u2019s no getting around being called a slut.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":0,"featured_media":418029,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"wpai_generated_summary":"","_preview_accessed":0,"_lftp_listicle_injection":"","footnotes":""},"tags":[],"media-embed-type":[],"class_list":["post-40018","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blog"],"authorship":[102],"yoast_head":"\n