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<\/p>\nN.B This post was originally published in November 2015. <\/p>\n
So you\u2019ve been abroad. Maybe it was for a week, maybe it was for a year. Maybe it was some time in between. Still, there are a few things that will hit you upon landing in Beirut. You may have forgotten about them, but don\u2019t you worry, Lebanon will remind you.<\/big><\/p>\n
1. Lebanon has a scent.<\/b><\/big><\/big><\/p>\n
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And no, I\u2019m not talking garbage. Sure, it depends on where you are, but there is a distinct smell that hits you when you exit the airport. It\u2019s surely includes some toxic pollutants, but it is also the ocean, the heat, and something you can\u2019t quite put your finger on.<\/big><\/p>\n
2. Traffic is the source of the deepest form of rage.<\/b><\/big><\/big><\/p>\n
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Maybe you were returning from some trip abroad, whether work or pleasure. Maybe you took trains, buses, or trams, joyously waving at people walking on the street, smiling to fellow passengers of public transport, beaming at commuters. Maybe when you get back to Lebanon and hit that first traffic jam on Airport Road, it all comes rushing back. Maybe you understand the origin of all wars, political upheavals, hell, maybe even some natural disasters.<\/big><\/p>\n
3. That guy yelling \u201cYalla ya banadoura, yalla ya batata\u201d was sorely missed.<\/b><\/big><\/big><\/p>\n
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If you\u2019ve lived in Lebanon, you\u2019re accustomed to the street vendor pushing his cart down the road in the morning, announcing the products of the day. While this man is not missed when I am abroad, right when I return to Lebanon a slow smile of recognition spreads over my face when I see this man, giving me an instantaneous feeling of familiarity while simultaneously creeping out all those around me.<\/big><\/p>\n
4. Rules and laws are suggestions.<\/b><\/big><\/big><\/p>\n
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While I was afraid at the thought of driving abroad sometimes, what with all these new fangled fines and traffic laws, roughly 1 minute back in a car in Lebanon will have you attempting to adjust back to that \u201canything goes\u201d mentality.<\/big><\/p>\n
5. It\u2019s not that you didn\u2019t gain weight, it\u2019s that only Lebanese people will let you know.<\/b><\/big><\/big><\/p>\n
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Did you indulge a bit on that trip you just got back from? Perhaps a few nights or weeks of binge-drinking were involved? Carbs? I bet there were lots of carbs. It\u2019s not that you haven\u2019t put on weight, my dear friend, it\u2019s that no one was expressing it to you. Walk into the arms of your family or friends at the airport and the first thing after \u201cHabibi\u201d or \u201cWe missed you,\u201d is \u201cYou\u2019ve gotten fat!\u201d<\/big> <\/p>\n
6. Lebanese people are always afraid that people on the end of the phone line are deaf.<\/b><\/big><\/big><\/p>\n
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I remember stepping out of the Beirut airport last year to the lovely, welcoming sounds of a man yelling at his friend\/partner\/wife\/child to \u201cNOT TOUCH THAT! IF YOU TOUCH THAT YOU WILL SEE!\u201d in a very loud manner, causing passerby to stop and glance over nervously. I\u2019m not sure if this is true for everyone, but my grandmother also seems to think yelling louder will bridge the distance between her and her son in Australia. I sometimes wish I found out what was not to be touched though\u2026I also wonder if he made them see.<\/big><\/p>\n
7. Cash doesn\u2019t feel like Monopoly money anymore.<\/b><\/big><\/big><\/p>\n
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This might just be me, but when I\u2019m abroad, whether it\u2019s euros, dollars, or another currency, it feels like fake money for a while. That coat is 200 euros? A steal I tell you! Oh, 320,000 LL? Let me just think on this one a bit.<\/big><\/p>\n
8. Cigarettes are seductively cheap.<\/b><\/big><\/big><\/p>\n
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You know that pack of cigarettes you bought in England? In the US? In Ireland? You know how you nursed every cigarette like it was a newborn, afraid to confront an empty pack? I\u2019m not promoting smoking or anything but fret no more, for it can all be yours.<\/big><\/p>\n
9. Everything is always open.<\/b><\/big><\/big><\/p>\n
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Land back in Beirut at 1 AM? Don\u2019t worry your pretty little head. For you can still have a beer, a cheeseburger, or Panadol somewhere. There are still places that will deliver a pack of cigarettes to you. These might seem light little things, but they are critical to a Mediterranean lifestyle.<\/big> <\/p>\n
10. It\u2019s time to time your showers.<\/b><\/big><\/big><\/p>\n
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Remember how you had hot water whenever you wanted abroad? Remember when you had the luxury of saying, \u2018Hey. I think I\u2019ll shower after I gym at 3 pm.\u2019 Sorry, my child. That is no more. Either take a cold one or check your electricity app to make sure that you will still be able to heat your water after the power cut. But hey, it\u2019ll make you a more resourceful, diligent person. At least that\u2019s what I keep telling myself.<\/big><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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