The Lebanese Mother: the superior matriarch reigning over all things, including your agenda. Here are the 7 gatherings your Lebanese mom will drag you to:<\/p>\n
And…obviously not all<\/i> Lebanese mothers. <\/p>\n
1. The 3aza<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n
You don’t know who died or their relation to you. All your mom is saying is “3ayb lezim trouhe ma3e<\/i>“. Once you get there, she makes sure to say hi to every single person and will physically push you “ta tsalme<\/i>” to them all. This is called taking attendance.<\/p>\n
2. The sobhiyye<\/i> that is low-key a matchmaking event<\/b><\/p>\n
All the other Lebanese moms with their children are there. You are being watched and scoped out for the position of potential wife to one of their kids. Be sure to look your best, and when asked: “Mia, khabre el tante shu 3melte bil jem3a<\/i>“, put on your best smile and start boasting your ass off, lie a little, your mom will thank you for it later.<\/p>\n
3. The lunch with her friends<\/b><\/p>\n
“Soha jebit benta haydik el marra, leh ma btejje ma3e ente?<\/i>” Because Soha’s daughter probably leads a boring and uneventful life, and I have no patience for coffee and argileh<\/i> talks. You will be brought against your will anyway, this is similar to Gathering #2, except it’s more chill, and gossip will occur more than networking or matchmaking. <\/p>\n
4. The outing where your uncle is introducing his fianc\u00e9 to the family<\/b><\/p>\n
My uncle already made up his mind and is marrying the woman, why do I need to be there? You need to be there, because we need to show the new “kinne<\/i>” that we are a tight-knit family that takes the time to hang out together, also to analyze the women from head to toe and decide if she’s going to be let into the inner circle AKA my mom, her sister, and their cousin.<\/p>\n
5. The dry wedding<\/b><\/p>\n
“Tante Iman asarrit eno te3zemik, walaw?<\/i>” Oh wow, so excited to dress up and dine on mediocre food, and not have any gin to down it with. <\/p>\n
6. The exhibition that she hopes will make you more cultured<\/b><\/p>\n
This can either be her friend’s book signing or her other friend’s exhibition at gallery. How can she boast about you without you actually being there? Prance around and ask as many questions to appear involved and interested. <\/p>\n
7. The shopping spree<\/b><\/p>\n
If it’s just you and your mom, it’s the best outing you can ever be brought to. The moment she brings one friend into it, UGH.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
The Lebanese Mother: the superior matriarch reigning over all things, including your agenda.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":0,"featured_media":403831,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_preview_accessed":0,"footnotes":""},"tags":[],"media-embed-type":[],"class_list":["post-54344","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blog"],"authorship":[56],"yoast_head":"\n