{"id":64563,"date":"2022-12-09T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2022-12-09T00:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.beirut.com\/64563\/11-lebanese-tips-for-a-happy-international-anti-corruption-day"},"modified":"2023-10-04T12:29:24","modified_gmt":"2023-10-04T12:29:24","slug":"11-lebanese-tips-for-a-happy-international-anti-corruption-day","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beirut.com\/en\/64563\/11-lebanese-tips-for-a-happy-international-anti-corruption-day\/","title":{"rendered":"11 Lebanese Tips For A Happy International Anti-Corruption Day"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Corruption has been completely eliminated in the Lebanese Republic. Under the rule of our gracious and mighty rulers, the largest to the pettiest of corrupt practices have been stamped down upon and removed from existence. For all our international friends out there who want to know the secrets of Lebanon\u2019s anti-corruption success story, we\u2019ve compiled a few tips for you to try out.  <b>1. First things first, you must pass an anti-corruption law<\/b>  Make sure to get all your top politicians involved in writing it, they often know best.  <img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/i.gifer.com\/4cUO.gif\" width=\"70%\">  <b>2. Then, you must pass *another* anti-corruption law<\/b>  Obviously one law is not enough silly, but two just hits right. Ignore the pile over there that says \u201c970 previous anti-corruption laws,\u201d it\u2019s not important.  <img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/i.kym-cdn.com\/photos\/images\/original\/001\/349\/785\/d0e.gif\" width=\"70%\">  <b>3. After that, you must encourage mass divorce across the country<\/b>  Confused as to why? See tip number 4.  <img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/y.yarn.co\/1cb8237e-c144-498f-9196-4694ebd135e7_text.gif\" width=\"70%\">  <b>4. Obviously, it\u2019s not nepotism if it\u2019s not your family<\/b>  Too many son-in-laws causing corruption, the Great Divorce Campaign will ensure that they become just regular individuals. Then they\u2019ll just be thriving and charismatic entrepreneurs utilizing good connection and market expertise.  <img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/media.tenor.com\/9iFmO_rbeXIAAAAC\/vote-out-hate-nepotism.gif\" width=\"70%\">  <b>5. Now, you must completely tank your local currency<\/b>  Too many bribes going around? Some would say the secret is to pay your employees more, but we all know that the actual path forward is to make money absolutely worthless. Bonus points for when they have to bring a whole barrel of bills to bribe you because it\u2019ll be that much easier to spot.  <img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/media.tenor.com\/JXYei330LGAAAAAd\/lira-mood.gif\" width=\"70%\">  <b>6. Take what\u2019s left of this local currency and give 51% to your favorite person<\/b>  Don\u2019t question it.  <img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/media.tenor.com\/RxCF9w3p3gEAAAAd\/%D8%B1%D9%86%D8%AF%D9%87-%D8%A8%D8%B1%D9%8A.gif\" width=\"70%\">  <b>7. Building on the 51% idea, make sure that there is a monopoly in every sector<\/b>  Food, medicine, housing, health, diapers, cat food, bananas, fuel, every commodity must have an oligarch.  <img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/i.pinimg.com\/originals\/d8\/c5\/1f\/d8c51fd59de7792c13d67b320d403184.gif\" width=\"70%\">  <b>8. Feeling a bit sad about all this? Worry not because we\u2019ve bribed a priest to come tell you how holy you are<\/b>  \u201cYou are holy\u201d &#8211; the priest  <img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/media1.giphy.com\/media\/3o6MbtkMMDIdSXwpyM\/giphy.gif\" width=\"70%\">  <b>9. Make sure you count your blessings yourself, because our general directorate of counting is too incorruptible to count<\/b>  Every time a number is counted you must go get a stamp to give to the 4th floor employee who has to redirect the paper to the 2nd floor where it will be recounted and sent up to the 6th floor who is unfortunately overwhelmed with work so after a few days you can &#8211; boom.  <img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.syfy.com\/sites\/syfy\/files\/styles\/blog-post-embedded--mobile\/public\/giphy_172.gif\" width=\"70%\">  <b>10. Fine. You\u2019re right, we\u2019re being too strict. You can let a random failson fly a national airplane, as a treat<\/b>  Just make sure they\u2019re not bopping too loud to the radio like a <a href=\"https:\/\/www.beirut.com\/l\/64008\" target\"_new\"=\"\">certain someone<\/a>.  <b>11. That\u2019s how you do it, now sit back and finally enjoy the fruits of your labor at the FIFA World Cup Lebanon 2022<\/b>\u2019  <a href=\"https:\/\/www.beirut.com\/l\/64288\" target\"_new\"=\"\">We\u2019re sure it\u2019ll go great<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Corruption has been completely eliminated in the Lebanese Republic.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":121,"featured_media":425263,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_preview_accessed":0,"footnotes":""},"tags":[],"media-embed-type":[],"class_list":["post-64563","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-listomania"],"authorship":[89],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v27.3 (Yoast SEO v27.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-premium-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>11 Lebanese Tips For A Happy International Anti-Corruption 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