{"id":64741,"date":"2023-01-20T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2023-01-20T00:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.beirut.com\/64741\/8-new-lebanese-myths-we-can-all-repeat-forever"},"modified":"2023-01-20T00:00:00","modified_gmt":"2023-01-20T00:00:00","slug":"8-new-lebanese-myths-we-can-all-repeat-forever","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beirut.com\/en\/64741\/8-new-lebanese-myths-we-can-all-repeat-forever\/","title":{"rendered":"8 New Lebanese Myths We Can All Repeat Forever"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>We\u2019ve all heard the tales about how Lebanon is at the centre of all civilization, how we invented the alphabet, were the first to sail across the Atlantic, and invented the television (that one is actually true), but how about we get some new myths to hang our phoenixes on. <\/p>\n<p>  Here are 8 carefully researched and curated new Lebanese myths we can all bring up when we\u2019re talking to random white people at bars.<\/p>\n<p>  <b>1. Lebanese people have the largest hummus dick<\/b> <\/p>\n<p>  Wait, wires were crossed there. Stand by for an update.<\/p>\n<p>  <img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/media.tenor.com\/4AiUg0l0m0gAAAAC\/hummus-hummusyes.gif\" width=\"70%\"> <\/p>\n<p>  <b>2. Lebanon is the home of freethinking genius entrepreneurs who are not wanted internationally for multiple crimes<\/b> <\/p>\n<p>  Cough.<\/p>\n<p>  <img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/media.tenor.com\/VxyJS0LDEBMAAAAd\/carlos-ghosn.gif\" width=\"70%\"> <\/p>\n<p>  <b>3. Lebanon has already colonized Mars<\/b> <\/p>\n<p>  Everyone has an uncle in NASA, and they\u2019ve finally gone rogue. The Union of Lebanese NASA Uncles (ULNU) has officially been colonizing Mars since 2003, with the Martial city of New Zahle serving as the capital of the Lebanese Republic of Mars. What\u2019s next, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.beirut.com\/l\/63887\"target\"_new\">reverse colonizing France<\/a> perhaps?<\/p>\n<p>  <img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/media.tenor.com\/_fvtnMZODy0AAAAd\/planet-mars-mars.gif\" width=\"70%\"> <\/p>\n<p>  <b>4. We actually invented our own language!<\/b> <\/p>\n<p>  Mandarin Chinese actually comes from the ancient scrolls of Phoenicia and spread through the silk road. What you hear today is an amalgamation of Arabic and Chinese that has been adopted and shaped by the Lebanese tongue.<\/p>\n<p>  <img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/media3.giphy.com\/media\/xT5LMXMQlSg5Kt90go\/giphy.gif\" width=\"70%\"> <\/p>\n<p>  <b>5. Lebanon was visited by an alien spaceship<\/b> <\/p>\n<p>  As part of the Mars-Pluto War of 2009. Today the effects of this alien invasion can be seen in some of the lizards occupying prominent positions in Lebanon\u2019s government and parliament.<\/p>\n<p>  <img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/media.tenor.com\/EkafvVUBJn0AAAAd\/ufo.gif\" width=\"70%\"> <\/p>\n<p>  <b>6. An AUB student discovered that the Earth is a trapezoid<\/b> <\/p>\n<p>  The Harvard of the Middle East strikes again! After <a href=\"https:\/\/www.aub.edu.lb\/communications\/media\/Documents\/june-2013\/UN-Charter-EN.pdf\"target\"_new\">single handedly founding the United Nations<\/a>, AUB\u2019s brilliant, exceptional, and wonderful students have made groundbreaking breakthroughs in Galileo studies.<\/p>\n<p>  <img src=https:\/\/static.mathigon.org\/cms\/cd00336eca5b8ae0986dfe324ff9b5d4.gif\"\" width=\"70%\"> <\/p>\n<p>  <b>7. The Phoenix was actually a dragon<\/b> <\/p>\n<p>  And it was ridden by a white haired Targaryen as they flew across the anti-Lebanon mountain range and formed the Seven Kingdoms of Lebanon and Syria &#8211; wait is this copyright infringement? HBO, look away.<\/p>\n<p>  <img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/i.gifer.com\/87Pb.gif\" width=\"70%\"> <\/p>\n<p>  <b>8. 1732580<\/b> <\/p>\n<p>  Lebanon\u2019s people sure love their special numbers. But aren\u2019t we all bored of the 10,452s and 961s? Here\u2019s a brand new randomly generated set of numbers we can all parrot around. <\/p>\n<p>  17 = the times it will take to elect a president in Lebanon<br \/>  32 = the years Nabih Berri has been office<br \/>  5 = the girl reading this<3<br \/>  8 = Elie el Ferzli<br \/>  0 = corruption rate<\/p>\n<p>  <img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/media4.giphy.com\/media\/Pt5ECTuCw59YY\/giphy.gif\" width=\"70%\"> <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>We\u2019ve all heard the tales about how Lebanon is at the centre of all civilization, how we invented the alphabet, were the first to sail across the Atlantic, and invented the television (that one is actually true), but how about we get some new myths to hang our phoenixes on.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":0,"featured_media":424749,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ai_generated_summary":"","_preview_accessed":0,"footnotes":""},"tags":[],"media-embed-type":[],"class_list":["post-64741","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-listomania"],"authorship":[17],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v27.7 (Yoast SEO v27.7) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-premium-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>8 New Lebanese Myths We Can All Repeat Forever<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"We\u2019ve all heard the tales about how Lebanon is at the centre of all civilization, how we invented the alphabet, were the first to sail across the Atlantic, and invented the television (that one is actually true), but how about we get some new myths to hang our phoenixes on.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" 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