In line with the nationwide turmoil resulting from Lebanese truck drivers’ ongoing general strike, and following our comprehensive assessment the 12 golden rules of driving in Lebanon a few months ago, we bring you our very own special guide to truck driving on the majestically infrastructure-d streets of our beloved Lebanon.
1. The slower you’re driving, the more you NEED to move towards the left lane.
Why let fellow motorists be when you can easily make their life a turtle-speed path to hell instead?
2. Make sure you harass as many smaller vehicles as possible when rolling on a highway.
Never miss an opportunity to use your size to full advantage by getting incredibly close and personal to surrounding cars to make them feel your sweet presence. They will most probably reciprocate your aggressive display of affection in the form of uninhibited road rage.
3. If squeezing into narrow streets is not your highest pursuit in life, then you need to switch jobs ASAP.
You need to start putting this into practice more often. The level of satisfaction you derive from it is proportional to the number of vehicles you manage to block the way for in the process.
4. Throw a block-road party with your 54,673 friends every time you don’t like something.
Image via Dailystar.com.lb
NB: you are required to bring your own arguileh.
5. When other trucks are packing up on the highway, take the sea road to slow the traffic on both ends.
In order to maintain your superior status on the road, you need to make sure your dominion extends beyond just one territory. The sea road surely makes a perfect target for your traffic expansion strategy because once a 1 km queue of cars has been crammed behind you, that’s precisely when you come to fathom the magnitude of your super-slow powers.
6. Jammed roads are the best playground for you to demonstrate your overtaking skills to their full power.
While dangerously curvy roads are eventually meant for you to unleash your speed, terrifying the living guts out of any motorist who crosses your path along the way.
7. Always flash your brightest headlights when driving in the middle of the highway at night.
Because driving in the middle of the highway at night is not enough of a horrendous disturbance anyway.
8. Never wait for anyone: all vehicles shall move away at the mere sight of your gigantic majesty.
