8 Things Your Lebanese Parents Won’t Let You Touch In The House

File under: growing up Lebanese.

1. The salon

This is no man’s land. These rooms hold 50kg chandeliers, Ajami carpets galore, and expensive figurines and vases. The furniture in this room is in better shape than brand new ones you find in stores.

2. Silverware, china, crystal glasses

Once you’ve crossed the salon, you’ll find a vitrine where the crystal glasses are kept.

These glasses vary in shapes and sizes, everything your heart desires in terms of high-end china. But the catch is that you can’t touch them, you can only gaze at them through the glass. These are reserved for when people come to ask for your hand in marriage, or if the president is invited over for dinner.

Same applies for the china and the silverware that comes in the heavy briefcases.

3. The expensive bag/jewelry/clothes

Your mother’s closet is off-limits, no exceptions. Don’t you even dare to ask to borrow that expensive bag she got last week, if you’re lucky you’ll only be answered with a glare and a scoff.

4. The aged wine

This bottle of wine is guarded by a wooden box. This wine is your dad’s prized possession, he purchased it from Europe in the 80s, it holds dear memories to him and don’t you even think about opening it when you have your friends over and you run out of booze.

5. Your dad’s samsonite

It probably just has some receipts and your ekhraj el 2ed, but your dad acts as if it has the Russian nuclear codes in it.

6. The good chocolate

Craving something sweet? Then go and buy a Galaxy bar, because you sure as hell ain’t touching the Patchi decorated tray.

7. Tomorrow’s tabkha

“3melo sandwich labne” is what you will hear when you ask your mom if you can taste the wara2 3enab she was slaving in the kitchen all day for.

8. The fancy argileh

This will probably be some intricately-decorated argileh with an embellished hookah pipe – some real tacky thing that belongs in an old Egyptian sitcom. But it cost a $100 and it shall not be touched or taken out of it’s case.