What Lebanese Politicians Would Do If They Made It To Mars

In honor of the United Arab Emirates being the first Arab country to undertake an interplanetary mission, we couldn’t help but think what our very own politicians would do if they ever got to Mars:

1. Raoul Nehme

He’ll throw a fit because HADA 2AL SHOUKRAN?

2. Hamad Hassan

Bake a cake, or better yet, open a patisserie.

3. Samy Gemayel

Make an emotional and completely useless speech on Mars that would have the aliens running for the hills.

4. Mohamad Fehmi

Probably enforce a curfew on Mars and insist that women on the spaceship cook for the men.

5. Saad Hariri

Just sit back…and do nothing, as usual.

6. Gebran Bassil

He’ll take up gardening because akid ma ha ykhalloo yeshteghel.

7. Nabih Berri

He’s actually been there all along, and he’s not going anywhere…AND he owns 51% of all resources.

Maybe we can just send all of them to Mars and leave them there.