8 Things You Can Do While Your Mom Rage Cleans

A scream breaks out at 7 in the morning, “MA 7ADA BES3DNE!”. Drenched in sweat and standing with a mop in hand, your Lebanese mom exhales nothing but absolute rage.

Though we’re not sure whether these might help, here are 8 things you can do while your mom rage-cleans.

1. Try having an open conversation about anger issues

“3a fekra mom, ma byeswa el wahad y3aseb hal2ad. Tetzkre sho alik el hakim that day? Ktir 3m todghate 3a halek”. You can suggest some anger management tips, or put on some of her favorite songs.

2. Apologize for your existence

Easiest way to make a Lebanese mom happy is admitting you’re wrong – for not washing the dishes, for eating a pack of instant noodles, having your earphones on, or just existing. Mom, you’re right. Ya raytek ma khalftine.

3. Actually suggest to help

Mimicking her behavior can be a good psychological tactic to show you’re not a threat; however, this often backfires into “La msh 3ayze hadan yse3dne enta khalik 3al telfon”

Caution: This is a trap. Help her ASAP.

4. Anxiously sit around and wait for the storm to pass

Threatening side glares, mumbles under her breaths, and loud noises in the kitchen are common warning signs that your mom is unapproachable. It’s recommended to avoid direct eye contact and stay in complete guilt and silence for at least one hour.

5. Busy yourself with something…ANYTHING

We’re all guilty of pretending to study or work because your mom decided that today is NOT her day (neither is it going to be anyone else’s)

6. Instantly arrange an outing with friends

“Yi Salwa just called w al taraket hye w saheba. Haram rayha shofa, bjblk shi ma3e?”

7. Go outside for some fresh air

You can quietly sneak outside, light a cigarette, and leave the rage at home.

8. Say your boss called you

Instant quiet. Problem solved!