Your Guide To Pissing Off Your Lebanese Dad

Lebanese dads, they’re filled with rage and tons of love. In case you’re feeling dramatic and want to experience a true parental meltdown, here is your guide to pissing off a Lebanese dad.

1. Hold the remote for more than 3 seconds

Your Lebanese dad declared ownership of that silly device long time ago, and any efforts to dethrone him as king of the remote would render you homeless.

2. Talk while he’s watching akhbarl

Don’t talk, don’t move, and most importantly, don’t breathe.

3. Wake him up from his sacred post-lunch nap

Because eza b fee2 na2zen 7a ten2azo ma3o abel ma tballesh l bahdale.

4. Ignore the snacks/fruits he brought for you after you had a minor craving

“3abele 3enab” *buys 10 kilograms of 3enab*
“Leh ba3d ma akalto? La min jeybon ana?”

5. Let someone else give you driving lessons

You will have the wonderful opportunity of hearing this essential piece of life advice: “Lezem tsoo2 ka2no el edemak hmar”, followed by constructive criticism like “Ya ebn el kaleb, msh hon bted3as”.

6. Tell him you want to move out

Never bring that up ever again.

7. Use your phone while eating with the family

“Shelle el telfon mn eidek. 3am nekol”

Don’t you dare interrupt family time. We’re bonding here (AKA fighting).

8. Don’t remind him that he’s the best dad ever

Especially compared to his friends. He wants to be the best everything for you.

9. Leave the lights on when you’re not in the room

“Ento 3refto fetoret el kahrba hyda el shaher adesh tol3t?!”

You can read these 5 Essential Facts About Turning Off Your Lights to Save Energy to impress your Lebanese dad.

10. Get that one math question wrong

“ADESH 4×10?”
“MA BA3REF”
“YA HMAR”

11. Nag for something you really want after he said NO

“Eza ba3ed besma3 kelme…”

12. Think of getting a tattoo or a piercing done

“Leh ana sho mrabe bl bet?!”

13. The thought of accidentally hitting his car

Rule out the possibility of actually hitting his car unless you have a death wish.

Now after letting you in on all the secrets to pissing your Lebanese dad off, here are a wholesome tribute to make it up to them.

You should also check out the ways Lebanese dads show you love without actually saying it.