15 Ways You Can Spot A Consultant

You’ve met 6 million of them, but can you spot one just by looking? Here are 15 ways to spot a consultant in Beirut.

1. Don’t worry, they will make sure you know.

“I work in consulting.” Sir, this is a Wendy’s…

2. Tumi carry-ons at the airport.

Complete with a smug look that says, “I’ve managed to get my airport trek down to a solid 43 minutes from my house to the gate”.

3. They’ll be finishing slides as they board the plane.

And loudly sending voice notes saying, “I’ve sent the revised slides to the client”.

4. They’ll use wonky consulting terms.

Caveat. AOB. Circle back. CAGR. Deck. Deliverable. TARGETS. And the worst one: PIPELINE.

5. They’ll dramatically look at their Hublot, Audemars, Breitling, etc.

Then they’ll look a few more times…

6. They panic if you catch them sitting in economy.

And give you a 2-hour explanation as to why they’re not flying business. “It’s so the juniors don’t feel like we’re out of touch…”

7. They’ll act like they solved climate change…

Because they once put together a report on the subject.

8. Their favorite topic of conversation is comparing hotel chains.

Or airlines!

9. And they’re ultra obsessed with points and upgrades.

10. When they’re abroad, they pack away breakfast buffet foods for lunch.

The best way to pocket more of that per diem.

11. They fixate on weekend plans

And they start planning every detail on Tuesday. “Meen bsheel hike ba3dein clubbing?” Euh, no one.

12. They often give unwarranted opinions on Silicon Valley’s latest.

As well as virtually everything else.

13. They go on excursions into nature to try to feel alive.

And it never works because come Sunday, they have to be a consultant again.

14. They look malnourished.

Apparently, surviving on coffee and client insults takes its toll on both your brain AND body.

15. Say they’re happy when they’re really dying on the inside.

We all know you wish you took that teaching job…