Dear Ivy: Why Aren’t We Facebook Official?

Dear Ivy,
My ex-boyfriend is threatening to post naked pictures of me online. I know it was stupid of me to give him any kind of access to photos like that in the first place, but you know the deal: I thought I was in love and that our relationship would last forever. Now that I’ve realized the error of my ways, what do I do now? I’m freaking out here!

Oh dear- I don’t envy the position you’re in. But don’t panic. First things first: do you know the motive behind his threat? Does he want something in return? Or is he just bluffing?

I don’t blame you for making such a mistake- NOTHING justifies blackmail and how were you supposed to know he’s a dirt bag. Judging from the fact that he hasn’t posted the pictures yet may mean that there might still be some room for negotiation.

I know there are laws in this country that prevent this sort of defamation but I would never devise you to report him to authorities; it would probably turn into a very humiliating experience for you. Ask to meet with him and have a heart to heart, try to make him change his mind for the sake of what you had. Play on his emotions.
If he’s insistent it is very important that you don’t lose your cool.

Get in touch with his closest friends or family members (mother or father)and publicly shame and oust him, make sure they know exactly what sort of gentleman they’ve raised. If all else fails and the pictures get posted, do some damage control, like typing up a note on Facebook telling everyone what he has done- the pictures may be scandalous but no girl in her right mind will ever trust him again. Good Luck!

Dear Ivy,
I’ve been with my girlfriend for a year now and she refuses to acknowledge our relationship on Facebook. She keeps assuring me that Facebook is not that important to her and she’s just not the type of person who wants to share all of her personal info on the Internet, but this argument doesn’t make sense to me. That’s practically the point of Facebook: sharing every little detail of your life with total strangers! Is she just not that into me or what?

No, I respect that sort of privacy and you should too. And no offense but how insecure could you be in that relationship if you need a Facebook status to reassure you. Come on! We both know how much gossip Facebook generates and believe it or not, some people just don’t like to publicly put their personal business out there, be it good or bad.
You’re probably thinking she’s trying to hide something or isn’t ready to officially remove herself from the market- but you’ve been together for a year now- meaning she has committed a year of her life to you. Shouldn’t that be enough proof of her dedication to you? Or is this really about Facebook?

If I were you, I’d thank the heavens for falling for a girl like that. I know a couple that’s posted their entire honeymoon photos on Facebook, trust me there are some very intimate shots in there which should have remained private.

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