Dear Ivy: My Family Thinks My BF is ‘Cheap’

Dear Ivy,

I’m a 30-year-old male who’s supposed to be getting married to the love of my life in October. We’ve never had any huge problems in our relationship, but this past weekend has been unnerving. She spent the better part of Friday evening texting “someone,” and then when we went to bed asked me if I wanted one last fling with someone else… or if there was someone from my past that I felt I had unfinished business with. Basically, she implied she wanted one last fling before we get married and in all honesty, I don’t want anything like that. Really not sure what to do. Please help!

Cold feet. It happens to the best of couples. The fact that she’s not suppressing those feelings probably means she’s unable to make them go away. Your fiancé is crying out for help. It seems she doesn’t wanna hurt you by telling you she’s having mixed feelings about getting married right up front, so her strategy is to voice those concerns in a cool, indifferent way – hoping that you might feel the same way so perhaps then she could let you know she’s freaking out.

I don’t believe in the last fling thing. Let me tell you why: Marriage is supposed to last forever, it’s supposed to be a mutual decision, and if your partner is feeling like she still needs to go out there and have a little taste, it means she doesn’t seem to have found her main dish just yet. Sorry to break it to you. But look at the bright side, it’s much better than getting stood up at the altar. Now pull yourself together and call the whole thing off.

Dear Ivy,

I’ve been dating a guy for about 4 months now. He’s 27, I’m 25. He’s pretty much broke all the time, but that’s because he’s self-sufficient, lives on his own and pays all the bills, and has a low-salary job. It doesn’t bother me, but everyone in my family is constantly putting him down and calling him “cheap.” Advice?

Yes, ignore you family. At least he’s not a bum. How many guys do you know in their 20’s nowadays that have actually moved out of mommy and daddy’s house? Not many I bet, and that’s besides the fact that Lebanon pays peanuts for very good talent.

Let me ask you this: Are you self-sufficient? And if you are, would your disposable income allow you to spend on some guy. Probably not. Don’t get lured into this local mentality. I bet if he had a super rich daddy and didn’t work a day in his life, your family would encourage you to marry this guy. He’s not cheap, your family is shallow. Sorry to break it to you.

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