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Nur Turkmani

The Joke’s On Us: Six Things Myriam Klink (Surprisingly) Got Right

While we all sat behind the TV laughing at Myriam Klink’s songs and dances, little did we know that the joke was on us.

After careful analysis, it appears Klink has been a psychic mastermind this whole time, revealing to us, through symbolic actions (just like Jay Z and the illuminati), various underlying truths about the Lebanese state. Not only did she predict a number of things correctly, she also made powerful statements that reverberate to the core of Lebanese society. Here are six things Myriam Klink (surprisingly) got right.

1. Groundbreaking: What the Song, “Klink Revolution” Really Means



Gay Rights:
First, the clip starts out with some hope: we see a pink flag which will predict that, soon enough, Lebanon will start to accommodate homosexuality. Boom. About a year and some months later, the Lebanese Psychiatric Society issued a groundbreaking statement that homosexuality was not a disease.

A Crisis of Modernity:
Now the rain starts to fall and Klink moves on to more serious predicaments. The mysterious acronym “QMK” that appears in the video doesn’t actually stand for “Queen Myriam Klink,” no. These words represent “Questions of the Modernity Krisis” (a rebel indeed, she doesn’t believe in spelling).

Klink was warning us that Lebanon is yet to face a huge “krisis” regarding the tension between freedom and westernization. She wanted us to question whether by opening new clubs and listening to R&B, we were becoming more modernized or, rather, more westernized.

The Economic Situation:
Klink then lands in an airplane (a symbol of capitalism!) and tells us: “tfeuh” and “nya’2” to insinuate that the economic situation in Lebanon is hitting rock bottom, and as a consequence of the Syrian crisis, it’s only getting worse. Sure enough, exactly ten months and twenty one days later, Eric Le Borgne from the World Bank noted how the Syrian crisis has affected the Lebanese substantially.

Women’s Rights:
She holds a gun in her hand, and covers her eyes with black sunglasses. Why? She’s telling us that women are confined and blinded, but, nevertheless, they will fight the war on sexism and eventually come out victorious (we hope).

2. When Myriam Klink Fell

(Photo via lbcgroup.tv)

When Klink mysteriously fell on the ground and injured her legs (*cough*thelebanesepoliticansknewshewaspsychicandtriedtokillher*cough*), she nevertheless reassured her fans on Facebook (thereby showing how social media has become the ultimate medium for communication) that she was fine, and nothing (and no one) could affect her.

3. Her Status about Posing Naked During the Alexa Storm

(Photo via sawtaljabal.com)

Did you honestly think that it was a coincidence that only a couple of months back Klink posted a status about posing naked in Alexa? The omniscient person she is, she knew that Jackie Chamoun’s photos would be uncovered and to prepare the conservative parts of Lebanese society, she took the brave initiative and decided to go first.

Although her initiative didn’t quite work out, at least she tried. AMIRIGHT?

4. Her Status about the Couple in her Backyard Having Sex

(Photo via lebanesebeautypress.com)

Klink also posted a status on Facebook remarking that she’d seen a couple having sex in her “big garden.” This was simply sending out the message that the government will go after anyone who is too provocative. If you really thought that the free and liberated and almost constantly naked Klink wouldn’t mind a couple having sex in her backyard, you were simply wrong. She just wanted to warn Jackie Chamoun, once more, that the government would go after her.

If only we saw the signs.

5. Her Song about the Lovely Cat


Who could forget Klink’s sentimental song about her lovely cat? Remember when she sung the lyrics, “Don’t worry baby, I’m here for you/Can’t wait too long until I play with you”?

Now, just like the points made above, think of what she was trying to predict.

You’re right.

She was singing, loud and clear, to the poor microwaved cat. If Hassan Hammoud and Mohammed Jallal had listened to this song, and tried to adapt her beautiful, animal-loving attitude, would that scandal have ever happened?

I’ll leave you to answer that.

6. When Myriam Klink Chose to End Her Parliamentary Election Run

(Photo via Ivysays.com)

Why? Simply because she knew that elections weren’t going to happen.

It seems that Klink is our only salvation in this hopeless country – so, if someday, the elections do finally happen… we all know who to vote for.