The Ministry of Telecommunications announced it plans to lower mobile rates by the end of 2014. If the current government does surpass its expected two-month lifespan, citizens will see a drastic change in call, text messaging, and data service rates come December.


(Photo via Al-Akhbar English)

“We have reached an agreement with the country’s two mobile phone networks, Alfa and MTC Touch, to readjust the current contracts governing telecom management,” Telecom Minister Boutros Harb said. “Mobile users can expect a 68% decrease in both call rates and data services. The rollout of the new rates will coincide with the introduction of a new, widespread 4G infrastructure in the country,” he added.

This news has been met with widespread positive reception. “Inno ye3ni bakeeeeeeeeeer. Bsharaf rabbon ye3ni, a5eeran,” expressed American University of Beirut student Mira Samad.

This welcome change comes after a series of positive measures taken by the government to improve quality of life in Lebanon. The Ministry of Energy has announced the end of electricity cuts throughout the country, and Lebanon's Supreme Court passed a law criminalizing all forms of domestic violence. These much-awaited changes have already ignited a transformation in the Lebanese population. “Rates of complaining about every single thing in the world have drastically decreased with the introduction of these new reforms,” said sociologist Majdi Bear. Up next, the government tackles gay rights.

Disclaimer for the un-funny: This is an entirely fictionalized, satirical blog post. Happy April Fool's Day!

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