Listomania
Lama Hajj

The Eleven Girls You Should Break-Up With

We’ve all heard it before: “b*tches be crazy.” I wonder who the first rapper to say that was, and does he get upset when we use his phrase and never credit him? Maybe not all of them are crazy, but here are some you need to leave ASAP.

This is a sequel to The Eleven Guys You Should Break Up With.

1. The needy girl, AKA, the leach


She needs your attention 24/7 – she has no reason to exist outside your relationship. She probably wonders aloud what your kids will look like before your one year anniversary. Fun!

2. The guilt-tripper


“Oh you’re not going to skip your cousin’s engagement to come see me?”

3. The controlling girl


She has your Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and email passwords. She questions you every time one of your cousins texts you. Your balls? Yeah, they’re also in a secure jar under her bed.

4. The girl who hates your friends


Most of the time, your circle of friends reflects who you are. She basically hates you.

5. The anniversary queen


Oh, is it really the anniversary of the first time you urinated at my house? Bye.

6. The passive-aggressive


The minute things don’t go her way, her special concoction of crazy comes out. Whether it be the aggressive silent treatment or her subtle use of any of the following phrases: “fine – go ahead – whatever – I don’t care – it’s okay.”

7. The drama queen


You have an argument; she promptly changes her Facebook status and starts tweeting Adele lyrics, uses the hashtag #broken.

8. The gold digger


“I don’t care about money, just personality.” P.S. ‘Personality’ is a new line from Prada.

9. The rage queen


Are you terrified of setting her off? Do you often find yourself hoping your friends can’t hear her screaming at you through the phone? Congratulations, you qualify for spousal abuse therapy.

10. Your mommy


I’m not talking about your biological mother, although if you are dating your mother please break up with her ASAP. Rather, the girl who mothers you.

11. The snob


Break up with this one using a Louis Vuitton printed card.