Health officials are warning the Lebanese public to be on the lookout for a new strain of airborne illness after it was spotted being transmitted live on OTV earlier this week in a profoundly vile segment called: "Homosexuality: Fashion Trend or Illness?"

People who have [willfully] contracted homophobia have been known to devote enormous amounts of time and energy toward hating and judging those engaged in same-sex relationships. Local doctors are urging the public to take the necessary precautions to prevent themselves from contracting this disease. They recommend immediate containment of anyone who speaks disparagingly of gay people or of homosexual-related things.

Local governments have dispatched teams of glitter bombers equipped with extra supplies of sparkling confetti and sequins in the hopes of eradicating further spread of the virus. Health officials note the homophobia virus is transmitted indirectly from one mentally deficient individual to another. The virus has also been detected in a large majority of individuals who've expressed unresolved feelings about the 2005 blockbuster film, Brokeback Mountain.

(Image via buzzfed) spoke with a doctor about the root of this disgusting disease. "Homophobia, like all major brands of hate in the world today, comes from a place of hatred for oneself. When addressing outbreaks of homophobia across the world today, it’s important for the public to respond with tolerance for those afflicted since tolerance is exactly what they lack."

Common sense tells us that the spread of the virus is preventable. Epidemiological data emerging from the outbreak are not consistent with the pattern of equality and acceptance that exists in various parts of the world.

And for those chronically afflicted by homophobia, help is out there. There are many antidotes to internalized or generalized homophobia. Some afflicted with the disease of homophobia improved after simply watching a TV series with positive representation of homosexual characters, like Modern Family, or listening to music by Lady Gaga or Macklemore. Others have found it beneficial to work through these issues with the help of a specialist. However, as with many serious afflictions, acknowledging the existence of a problem is the first step. was able to reach God for a reaction to this story. She was quoted as telling the world to "stop being ignorant, you assholes, and end this absurdity" because she "loves each and everyone of us exactly as we are."

Disclaimer for the slow and un-funny: This was a satirical blog post. That means it's entirely made up... except for the part about OTV airing a show called, "Homosexuality: Fashion Trend or Illness?" That actually happened.

Health Officials Warn of Homophobia Outbreak in Lebanon


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