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Why Haifa Wehbe’s First-Ever English Track is the Worst Thing We’ve Ever Heard

You will need to watch Haifa’s new music video to her first-ever English track “Breathing You In” three or four times before you start to understand it; and not because it’s a complex piece of post-modern art like, say, Stanley Kubrick’s 2001: A Space Odyssey, although they have the outer-space thing in common, kind of… but more because it’s the most confusing and poorly executed music video ever.



Let me break it down for you. Haifa is a woman living on Earth, sometimes in a desert but simultaneously on a ranch and she visits space a couple of times as well. She is in love with a NASA astronaut who has a sleeve tattoo and sometimes helps around on the ranch, by sexily moving large blocks of hay from one corner of the barn to the other. Tattooed astronaut goes to space and passes out in his space suit while Haifa is in the desert, gyrating against young and supple break-dancers while dressed in a body suit studded with diamonds.

Oh and there’s also a token black guy whose presence in the music video is meant to authenticate this as an American production.



(Image via mojaznews.com)

Anyway, after a few wardrobe changes and a few awkward dances, Haifa peers out the window into space, looking as constipated and pouty as ever, while she pines for her lover who is still passed out in outer-space, you guys. Haifa is distraught, upset, lonely, but wait! Just when she thinks her astronaut lover is gone forever, lightening appears! The lightening most probably symbolizes her lover ejaculating all the way in space in order to send her a sign that he’s coming, LITERALLY COMING, for her.


(Image via newsny.net)

Now, this isn’t only a horrible music video, it’s also a horrible attempt at an electro-pop-synth English song! The song is basically one verse of her singing, “love me now, love me past the end of time/turn me up, find my frequency/you breathe me in, take me as I am/give me a sign show me that our love is one.” This poetic stanza is followed by four verses of her singing “I’m just breathing you, breathing you in in in in in in.” That’s the whole song.

We have to ask a few questions about the relationship between the song and the music video. First of all, why NASA? What would Haifa and an astronaut possibly have in common? Because when you think Haifa, you immediately think of NASA? No. Second of all, what does breathing you in have to do with space and astronauts? Does she think NASA makes the air we breathe? You guys, I think she thinks that.

Anyway, Haifa, despite this train-wreck of a song and video, I like you. I think you’re hot; I want to look in the mirror and see your thighs staring back at me. I too want to monetize on panting and whining into a microphone, but please, stick to Arabic songs. Actually on second thought, don’t do that either.