The internet was exploding last week over an unknown blogger's declaration that we have entered the age of the "dad bod." Normal-bodied men triumphantly boasted their own desirability with links to the article on facebook. The logic is obvious. Women like a chubbier partner, first, because it makes us look thin. And, in the immortal words of Rodney Dangerfield, if you want to look thin, you hang out with fat people. Second, it makes you look like a dad. And we are ready to have BABIES! Plus maybe we have daddy issues.

But I think what else is missing in all of these discussions is the fact that I actually came up with a similar term a long time ago, and that is “Lebanese dad gut.”

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Lebanese dad gut is the rotund belly Lebanese men acquire after years and years of chain-smoking, eating his mom’s home cooking, in particular the sweet stuff, drinking arak, and most of all, not giving a fuck.

A man with a true Lebanese dad gut will take you out to dinner, order everything on the menu. You know instinctively that he won’t judge you for eating the last piece of sojuk, in fact, he likes a woman with a healthy appetite. Like his father before him, he will insist, absolutely insist, that you order dessert. And then he will pick up the check, whether or not he wants you to sleep with him.

Lebanese dad gut is more than a physical attribute. It’s swag. He’s a man who’s comfortable in his own skin. He doesn’t spend 24 hours a day chugging steroid-infused protein shakes and working out at the gym. He’s not going to mansplain postmodernist theory to you. Though he’ll probably try to mansplain some other shit. Let’s be real. He’s Lebanese. He’s a man. He can’t help it.

Now, chub chasing is not a new thing, and big-boned bros have been scoring with the ladies since the time of the ancients. I would hypothesize that at a subconscious level, we may even prefer a partner with a rotund tummy because a big belly is indicative of a relaxed mind and inner calm. Try it. Stop sucking in your stomach for a second. Breathe out. See how relaxed you feel? Yeah, your gut is hangin’ out right now. But hey, it’s sexy.


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