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You Can Still Legally Send Dick Pics in the UAE (For Now)
Earlier this week, a man in the UAE was fined $68,000 for swearing at a colleague over WhatsApp. Under a new law, those convicted of swearing on the popular instant messaging app could also face jail time, and foreigners are subject to deportation.
The exact words used by the defendant in this case were not revealed by the court, which simply said that they were “insulting.”
The Internet, understandably, is freaking out about the new law. But let me point out something very, very important peeps: you know what hasn’t been deemed illegal yet?…
Dick pics.
(Image via BBC)
I, for one, have never been insulted by a good dick pic – especially one that is well lit and taken at a flattering angle. Bonus points if it was taken in a bathroom stall.
It’s really one of the most advanced forms of modern dating, you know. If I receive an attractive disembodied dick on my phone, I do what any young, single girl in her right mind would do: I send him a different dick pic back.
I’ve received so many dick pics over the past few years, in fact, that I’ve started a photo library collection which I hope to exploit one day as a form of modern art. If a complete stranger’s selfie pics on Instagram can pass for its own exhibition, then just think of what all of these dicks could do for me at a Beirut art gallery.
So there you have it. You want to call someone a dick? Just send a dick pic. You want to call someone a f*cker? Send photos of you having sex with their parents.
Remember: laws are there so you can find creative ways around them. Unsolicited photos of genitalia might be considered a form of harassment, but for now, it’s still legal to message them over WhatsApp in the UAE. Let us all take advantage of this momentous opportunity.